Nothing Changes On New Year's Day.

Hi guys, this will be my last post of 2010. My previous post was my 101th, and the one before that the 100th. Sounds like milestones eh? Sounds like the posts should be more significant just because it's linked arbitrarily to some special nice sounding number. But they're not any more special. And well, neither is new year's day.

What I'm trying to say is, people imbue the new year with so much hope. They make the new year out to be some special life-changing day where all of a sudden their lives will somehow magically turn around or something. It won't. Your troubles aren't left behind in 2010 just because the sun has gone above your head for the 366th time. You aren't a better person just because the calendar starts anew. New year's day is just another day.

You get what I'm saying don't you? Nothing changes on new year's day. If you wanted to turn your life around, you could have done it anytime, you didn't have to wait till now.

Of course, I'm not 100% so cynical and skeptical. It is of course a good time for you to decide to start doing something, or to stop. Say if you decided to stop gambling, or drinking or something, but you just can't seem to do it. New year's day would probably be a good day to firm your resolve and to stop once and for all. I guess that works lah. I just don't buy into the whole mythical idea of the new year.

It's just a sort of signpost on the highway of time. A distance marker in the marathon of life. And everyone knows the stupid marker doesn't give you an energy gel or a banana or something, yet somehow seeing the distance you've run so far (and have yet to cover, or how slow you've been) spurs you to run that little bit faster. But it's all in your mind.

Nothing changes on New Year's Day - U2, New Year's Day.

So this is the new year, and I don't feel any different - Death Cab for Cutie, The New Year.

Badass songs by some badass artistes, which got me to thinking about it and typing this post. Typically, an end of year post also comes with a reflection of sorts, a stock taking and an assessment of your year. So.

My 2010 started off with a whimper. Or a rather sad BANG, if you're into black humour. I must say it got better, of course it scarcely could have gone otherwise. They say when you're down the only way is up after all. So from way down in the dumps, I got myself a job (M1) for 2 months and then another (Honourable Naval Officer) for the next X number of years (Where X is possibly a very large number, but it could possibly also be quite small. Therein lies the mystery of X.)

That's the gist of my year thus far. In the sense that those were the big choices I made which have had a large impact on my life. I've been off my parents' money the whole year, and every dollar that I've taken from them this year I have laboured to return. That's what I call a positive impact. I have not strayed since entering army (although my journey to Neverland later might just prove to be that,) I have not taken up smoking or drinking or any other such vice. Leisure drinking and very rarely at that, that's all. My usage of vulgarities did not increase upon entering the armed forces.

I have learnt to wash my clothes and sweep/mop/wipe/scrub/clean places ranging from my room to the toilet to the corridors of wingline. I have cooked and survived my cooking. I have gone travelling alone and also lived to tell the tale. I have been in a jungle and lived on a ship. And more. In terms of experience, this year is my greatest year yet. First year out of school and this is what we get. School is overrated, no? We have been frogs in a well with a lid on it and a fat man was sitting on the lid.

It's been quite a year. I've learnt how to pick myself up (which makes me think of a great song Pieces of What by MGMT) and to move on. I've learnt how to take care of myself (yes I've been quite useless as a person till now.) I've learnt a somewhat painful lesson in naivety {[which makes me think of the song (Cheating) Gets it Faster by Jimmy Eat World](note the clever use of the bracket system thing taught in mathematics!)}

I think I've been generally a nicer person. The one statistic I'm quite happy about is not losing my temper during BMT at all. I've been more filial, I guess. I've been giving money to the household, and I'm quite proud of my contributions. I've not given my parents much to worry about, I hope. I've tried to be the best I could be. I've tried to act honorably at all times. I've tried not to let my interest and emotions get in the way of others. Whether I've succeeded or not, I don't know. But the very fact that I even tried, that says something yes? Sort of like, if somebody tries to be genuinely nice, then that makes him a nice guy right? The very fact that he wants to be nice means that he is, in fact, nice. Right? Sorry, it's a personal point that I have to make.

This could have turned out to be a very bad year. I could have made some terrible choices and indulged in self-destructive tendencies. So I'm glad it's turned out this way. Oh yeah I have to add picking up rock-climbing and dragonboating as some of the plus points this year. Being owned by my brother in every way during climbing was simply humbling.

And working at M1 was, looking back, an awesome experience. Thanks of course to bufflordshin and jiamin from hot bods, and fitmin for driving us to buy durians almost every night haha! Skipping work so frequently, huge meals every lunch, laughing at cui/gay/nerd colleagues, being berated by chinese-speaking aunties who were transferred over by ws in the first place.. It was an epic time, and strangely cathartic too haha!

Okay there is alot more to look back upon, so I shan't. Because I'm hungy and my time for dinner is running out. So, until next year then, and enjoy your countdown!