You Came Along And You Cut Me Loose.

It's far too early in the day to be in a melancholic mood. And yet here I am, sigh. For a few weeks now I've been stuck on the topic of regret. How many regrets do you have? Big ones, small ones. I have my fair share. And yet what is the point? Or maybe the more pertinent question to ask is how can anyone's regret be valid since nobody knows how things would have turned out otherwise? Since we all only live once, how can we know which of the choices we've ever made were the right ones or not? For all we know all the decisions we've made have been the wiser ones, although of course the inverse is likely to be true as well. If you choose the wrong option in an MCQ then yes, you might regret it cause you were wrong, but in life, you can never know how right or how wrong you are, it's never an absolute, an unshakeable fact.

But regret does serve a purpose. If we do not experiece it we would not learn from our (perceived) mistakes. If we were immune to it we'd go through life and make decisions with hardly a care for their consequences.

I think my point is that it's only natural to feel regret. But don't indulge in it, succumb to it, wallow in it and drown in it. I think that's it.

I think I might take a nap, before watching the world cup later. Although the outcome has never been in doubt (Spain duh), I still gotta watch it. The thought of 3 weeks of confinement coming up is just dreadful. I didn't even feel this sian about enlistment. Sigh. Too lethargic to start packing and all yet, right at this moment I am woefully unprepared for tomorrow. Ohwells.

Note: A few hours and a few dota games later, here I am and I have packed! Very efficient man, this de yan.

Okkkkkkkkk gotta rev myself up for the world cup later. On a sidenote bucky (the cat from the comic) is quite hilarious about this world cup. I shall now read my book (a very good book) while waiting with barely contained excitement. Actually no............... I'm totally dreading the morning BIG SIGH!

Goodbye for now, enjoy watching Spain win guys! See ya'll in 3 weeks!

EDIT: OH forgot to mention how despicably cute Despicable Me is, do catch it guys it's awesome! It's so fluffy!

Don't You Just Love Goodbyes.

Well hi, just thought I'd check in for a bit. Don't really have much time cause I'm supposed to go get a phone with my parents anytime now, and maybe some dim sum(!!) too. It's just great to not have to pay for your meals when you're out with your parents. Soothe my aching wallet. Unfortunately had to resort to borrowing from my mom some money to tide over this week, which hopefully will be spent happily reveling in the joys of civilian life. I have made no detailed plans on how to effect this, instead I'm content to go with the flow and do whatever I want. Which usually means I stay at home and DOTA all day, since I'm too lazy to ask people out or stuff like that.

So yeah. I guess some pretty significant stuff like POP and deciding to sign on. "Why!" you may cry. Foremost is the overseas scholarship. I've always wanted to study overseas but never to the extent where I actually went in search of scholarships I was eligible for. But now with the opportunity for a scholarship from the SAF it was pretty hard to resist. The length of bond I have to sign is pretty much equivalent to one I'd have to sign with any firm that sponsored my overseas studies, and who's to say I'd prefer the private sector to the military one? So the loss of freedom that has everyone so worried is something I was willing to accept cause it's the norm for overseas scholarships, army or otherwise.

As of now I am also financially independent of my parents. No more pocket money, no more school fees, basically I'm on my own unless I'm in dire straits. It's something that has to happen sooner or later for everyone, so why not sooner and ease the burden off my parents? It's about time they got to enjoy their own lives rather than be providing for us all the time. Now they no longer have to worry about me one bit.

There's also the fact that up till now I have no issues with army life. They feed me clothe me lodge me and now they're gonna pay me (more) too. It's almost a dream come true! Since I could never see myself in the private sector anyway, signing on isn't exactly robbing me of my freedom and restricting my options till I'm 30 or something, as I've never had that many options in the first place, or at least none I'd ever considered seriously. In fact I think it gives me some direction in life, cause once you know your path is set for the next 10 years, then you have no choice but to do your best for that next 10 years. Rather than just bumming around waiting for purpose and direction to hit me in the head and lodge themselves there.

Oh and about overseas studies, all the best to those who are off to study in australia or wherever. Of course, all the best to those studying locally too, it's no less important hah. So. To poixin, hope you're settling in well and making many friends, maybe some of them might have normal sounding names. Don't forget us or not we will OOC (Out Of Circle) you like jialong. LOL. To xintong who will be going soon, go enjoy yourself there, study hard and have fun too. We haven't talked much for months but I will be sorry to see you leave. You will be missed.

It seems I've hit a brick wall, and I'm not sure if there's anything left to do. Mayhaps I'm trying too hard, I don't know. Sometimes one just can't be contented to let things be and to see how things go. Lazy mentality, but maybe the appropriate one to take now? Sigh. What a quandary.

Okay whole family woken up by now, maybe time for one dota game before leaving! Hey ho, let's go!