To Fair Winds And Following Seas.

Will be my departure post. You knew it was coming, right. I might, after typing this, head out for The King's Speech or I may collapse onto my bed and let oblivion take me through my last few hours here. Don't intend to let that happen but my eyelids! they don't listen to me no more. Or some sneaky fellow has been adding minuscule weights to them even while I'm still conscious (I think), that's how sneaky he is!

Btw The Black Swan was terrifyingly good. It was freaking intense, srsly. Don't let me spoil it for you, just go and watch it. And Natalie Portman was breathtaking, she's such an awesome actress. (I like her way better than her lookalike, Keira Knightley) From Leon the Professional to V for Vendetta, simply awesome!

Also the book The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. I watched the movie a few years back (thank god for my ability to watch movies alone) and had always wanted to read the book. It is a gem. I brought it out today and finished it, and my day was quite packed it was! From blood donation to marks & spencers (to buy biscuits and cereal hehe) to rushing back home for dinner to rushing down to causeway point for the movie to supper with ym. And I woke up at 2 too. Brilliant.

The one part that (maybe just for today) really was quite arresting was the part about: The women we were unable to love, the chances we failed to seize, the moments of happiness we allowed to drift away.

The keenest regret we feel comes about from the smallest things. The smallest of near-misses. That your life could have been so different (better? perhaps not) if you had done, or not done, something. And your destiny seems to hinge on the smallest of decisions, does it not?

And so the onus is on us to do right by ourselves. To explore every possible avenue of happiness that life avails us. To catch, like butterflies, every fleeting passing moment of happiness and hold on to it (and keep them alive, unlike those poor exquisite pressed butterflies.) To leave no stone unturned in our grand quest for that quasi-mythical thing they call happiness. Haha@onus though, it's such a grand and pretentious word to use. Also, it makes me feel like a Man on a Mission. And quasi reminds me of Quasimoto.

But yeah, I wouldn't want a life of regrets. So maybe everytime I'm in a conundrum I should go, Why not? and just go for it, the better choice rather than the safer one. I wouldn't want to be the kind of person who looks back at his/her life and go, sigh, what if.

Since we're somewhere on the subject. I think it's time to start living life to the fullest. A life like that though, I have decided, does not promise happiness. It is perfectly possible that someone who lives his life fully is not has happy as someone who doesn't, as it is vice versa. Nonetheless. When given a choice, I'll take the scenic route. Eat the foods I've never eaten before. Choose the unfamiliar.

Which also brings me to this, and you should try this someday, it's really exciting. The last time I was in India I told myself to order only food I'd never seen or heard of before. And sometimes I wouldn't ask for any description whatsoever of aforementioned unknown dish (and sometimes when I do ask they reply me in unintelligible heavily accented English, so that amounts to the same thing) and let myself be surprised (sometimes shocked) at what I finally get. I'll do the same this time, I only hope I have the stomach for it!

Another line from the book was: Those castaways on the shores of loneliness. And this was intriguing primarily cause my first thought upon reading it was, are we not natives? And I decided that no, we shouldn't be natives. The world would be a nicer place if our base state was that of companionship instead, yes?

I thought I'd finish up my story before setting sail, but in the last month or so I haven't written anything more than 2 lines, and I cancelled out a large chunk too. I guess it'll have to wait. I have no idea how it's going to end, that's the problem. Sigh. But I guess if a man to whom moving an eyelid is the extent of his movement can write a whole book, I should be able to write one story no problem.

Btw the CNY Squeezy Bloodrop is quite cute, like its Deepavali counterpart. Am looking forward to the Christmas one, and to discovering what other Squeezy Bloodrops they have. I'm gonna be a champion donor in no time woohoo!

Okay I've quite exhausted myself now. And I think I'll sleep, and miss the glorious morning but ohwell. I'm looking at a super lack of sleep for the next 6 weeks, so I think I'm allowed some downtime now!

To the 65th, to fair winds and following seas.

Why not?

V-day Thosai!

I know right, I'm such a beast when it comes to rhyming. Last year I had V-day Dismay! and decided I probably couldn't come up with something cooler this time around, so I thought really hard and settled with thosai. So I did eat my thosai yesterday, along with a mushroom egg prata and a milo blended shake smoothie (idk there are so many names for almost the same thing) from Jalan Kayu Roti Prata, which was ofc overpriced, but savory nonetheless. Yey singlehood, eh?

My excuse for not having a Valentine this Valentine's (there was a St. Valentine, I believe, so this is his day and not a day for all the Valentines out there, although I guess it also is, it's just a matter of the apostrophe) is booking out at 9pm. Last year it was CNY. Next year it'll be (hopefully) cause I'm abroad. And the year after, and the year after. I am redeemed of all Valentine's Days for the foreseeable future! Ahah. It's such a pressurizing thing if you're attached though, have to reserve tables, or tickets, and buy massively overpriced flowers/bouquets of it/balloons/gifts, and you're fighting for all those with tons of other pressured men out there. And then you walk down the street and Hot Damn! Some other girl is holding like 4000 red roses (real, and real expensive ones) and you feel so inadequate?! Terribad.

Invariably everyone makes that extra effort on V-day and does sth special or sth, even does who proclaim that "Everyday is V-day" thing. I don't believe in that statement, actually. I don't think love is a constant thing, as in, you can't consistently 100% of the time love someone 100%, much as you'd like to. So having a V-day (or rather the concept of it, the actual V-day is a logistical nightmare for guys) is nice, I guess. One extra event to celebrate your being in love, who wouldn't want that?

I didn't mean to say all that, I just wanted to tell the world I had a V-day Thosai actually. My post-V-Day act of love shall be to donate blood. And after that to catch the lovely Natalie Portman in action in Black Swan (*swoon*) I'll kill myself if I miss it before sailing (which is tmr urgh. excitation trepidation, 2-in-1 instant mix.) I really wanted to spend the whole day myself, a Me-Day, but my parents want me to have dinner with them at home, so I guess I shall. Maybe leave home after dinner for the movie or sth, and return home in the dead of night feeling so accomplished [for not spending the whole day at home on my comp (on my bed) like I'm doing now] and self-satisfied. Seeing as the next 6 weeks onboard ship is gonna be hellish and in close quarters with like a hundred smelly boys/men (we're in transition you see,) this I must say: Some me time, thank you!

Anw I have to say it's pretty fun roaming about Singapore. That day I just explored Holland V myself (I must be quite the loser cause I've only ever been there for xlb or sth, and I've only ever been there maybe 3/4 times? Nolifer.) and basically just walked around looking at the shops and stuff. I was pretending to be a tourist so nobody would stare at me like I was some lost idiot Singaporean, which I was. It's fun to imagine you're a tourist in Singapore, cause when you're a tourist you're uninhibited by societal norms and you're less aware of the embarrassing things you do too, haha! And I bet you there are countless places in sg you've never been to, so why not start here if you feel like traveling? Sometimes I feel like just hopping on a train/bus and stop wherever catches my eye. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to do stuff like that now, and it's a sad truth that this has been classified under "stuff like that", meaning all the things which in an ideal world you'd like to do, but in reality will probably never do. Suckz or whatz.

I'll be off now, to donate blood (my 2nd time, and my 1st alone) and to settle the numerous admin nonsenses I have to before setting sail. Happy Post-V-Day!

Our Memories Depend On A Faulty Camera In Our Minds.

I'm going to sleep now, at long last (almost 40hours awake now)! My eyes are bloodshot and I'm feeling slightly cold and all. And I'm sunburnt too. DCFC's What Sarah Said's lyrics are beautiful, almost every line is something to behold. Hope you dream tonight, and that the dreams you dream make you happy. G'night all.

So who's gonna watch you die?

Grace Marked Your Heart.

I'm stuck in a quandary here. Should I sleep (sweet sweet sleep) or stay awake? Weighing the pros and cons. Sleeping means I feel good about myself (yey) and get some much needed rest to burn people during touch tmr. But I might oversleep and aforementioned burning will not actually happen, which is not very good at all. So confused?@#$!?

I'll leave that decision for later, so for now I'll just type for a bit. Procrastination is ALWAYS the answer. I'll tell you why later, hah. Okay so about decisions, I signed up for both 2xu and sundown, so I have no reason to not start training. I shall clock at least a few kilometres this weekend, buy new running shoes and break them in. So exciting. Hopefully a good 2 hour run, and hopefully my knees/ankles don't give way. I'm terrified I'll injure myself doing 42km. Shite!

I'm super tempted to buy an itouch actually. But maybe I should hold my horses and get an iphone instead? Argh. Yet another dilemma. What happened to the easy paths in life?! I played this game called gravity guy (and many other games ofc, just that I'd like to crow about my gravity guy prowess) on my sister's iphone, and it was so fun heh. Buttttt I don't want to be a no-lifer tapping away at an iphone all day. (Oh the irony. Keyboard smashing playing dota isn't that much different. I'm still a no-lifer newayz.) So maybe I shan't? Gah.

Btw I played pool today, the first time in manymany months and I got destroyed. Hahaha. It was humiliating, shameful, an embarrassment! Left me feeling so deflated, right until we played dota and I showed everyone who's their daddy. Hahaha I'm joking of course. Hope everyone else had as much fun as me though I was having a blast losing every round of pool and all.

Anw I was listening to the song I'm Waking Up To Us by Belle and Sebastian. I thought it was about someone who woke up in the morning to "us", that is waking up beside the person he loved or sth and so it was a nice happy song. Until I listened carefully and I realized "waking up to us" had a different meaning altogether. That's exactly the power of words, how they're laden with meanings that mean differently to everyone who reads them, how they can have such vastly different meanings depending on the person who beholds those words.

Speaking of which I'm almost finished with Mr. Franz Kafka and his short stories now. So difficult to sit through my goodness. Almost a month now since I started on it, and since I can't bear to not finish a book once I begin, the rest of my reading has been held up too. Still so many unread books sitting all over my room. And they all look so appealing too. Sigh. I must read finish Metamorphosis by this long weekend!

I'm listening to Friday I'm In Love now. So happy to have worn my Friday I'm In Love shirt today, feel like such a cool dude, yeah! I realize that actually I have alot of clothes now, good thing I didn't try for some new year shopping or sth. Still want to get a dress shirt though.

I think I shall sleep for a bit. I'm used to precious little sleep anyway, waking up should pose no problem for me, or at least I fervently hope so! Btw I gave my word not to tell anyone on facebook that it got hacked or anything, and I won't delete that post either, but let me just say it here for the record that IT WASN'T ME WHO TYPED THAT! "My date is hot" or wtv, ohno! I think it might just be super embarrassing.

I don't know why but I'm plagued by these doubts now. Like I don't match up or sth. Like it's all a pipe dream. Ohwell.

Anw my brother is reading this book - The Wisdom of Carl Jung- and I find that pretty interesting. Why, with all the countless fiction titles out there, would one choose to read sth from a psychologist who died years ago? I am somewhat interested in the topic, but never to the extent that I'd whip out my library card and borrow sth from Freud or Adler or sth. Although that book The Interpretation of Murder (featuring Dr. Sigmund) seemed pretty interesting.. but no. Btw amanda said sth I found highly amusing today, that Freud is such a sicko, hahah. All that sex and desire and all.

Okay. "I need someone to take some joy in something I do", a line from Waking Up To Us, and I do believe it rings true for all of us. Maybe, goodnight. Happy angpow collecting!

We'll Dice With Aphrodite And Beat Her At Her Game.

This is so peculiar. I typed a post 2 nights ago at 2am but it doesn't seem to have materialized. So here I am at 8:08pm on tuesday. Nothing much has happened except for the start and stop of the rain again and again. Sporadic drizzles/showers (idk the exact difference between the two) all day. Some days were made for such light fleeting rain, some days were made for thunderstorms. Haven't had rolling thunder in a while though.

I like the use of the word rolling as an adjective (I'm not sure, but I'm certain it's not an adverb or a noun or whatever) e.g. rolling hills, or rolling thunder. It just has a very.. vast and epic sound to it. When I think of rolling hills I think of those green hills in new zealand or sth where Aragorn Legolas and Gimli undertook their epic journey a few years ago.

Which reminds me, I'll probably have to scrap my plans to travel to NZ this year. I wuz hoping that I could clear all my leave this year + block leave that's granted and travel Down Under. Do a tour of aussie and then a short one in NZ. Unfortunately though I don't think that's too feasible now :( There are quite a few cities in australia I intend to go to i.e. Sydney, Adelaide, Melbourne, maybe Perth, Brisbane and Queensland? Actually, wherever there's friends or family I guess, since it's not likely I'll go there any other time in the near future, so might as well meet up and catch up right?

Of course I have my ulterior motives too. If maybe some of them puts me up for just a day or two, I'll save a bundle! I think my cousin will, and my auntie (if she's in the country), there's probably another cousin there who will too. So that's 3 different destinations I have covered, hehe. IIRC (one of the few acronyms I like) they're in Adelaide, Sydney and er, Perth? Actually I think I have another auntie there too. That makes 4 destinations, but I only know 3 of them. Hmm. Anyhoo, that means alot of $$ I don't need to spend. I'm hoping (dreaming) of getting at least 2 weeks off. 14 days, my budget shall be.... S$1000? I'll try to subsist with that, ~$70/day should be fine.

Oh. Then you have to include air tickets and all. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!! I'm not even spending any money yet but I'm feeling the acute lack already. Sigh. And I'm paying for reunion dinner tomorrow too. SIGH. And I have to give my parents angbao too. SIGH! Okay lah actually, the angbao's just a token sum, and they'll be giving me angbaos in return too haha. It's all symbolic, you see. And I still haven't given mommy her pocket money for this month. And I have yet to shop for myself too. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Will be sailing up north this time, I heard the temperature might go below 10 degrees! Yippee. I'm quite looking forward to MSTD actually. Also another point to note is that I'll not have any duties for the next 9 weeks. Double-edged sword though, I think it's gonna be a pretty tough 9 weeks! Sorta disappointing though.

Hmmm just wondering, when you think of Goddess of Love who do you think of? I'm caught between Aphrodite and Venus, can't decide which of them is a more agreeable Goddess. I think Aprohdite sounds cooler though. I suddenly had to choose between the two of them cause I was thinking of sth which went: We'll dice with Aphrodite and beat her at her game. Random thought of the day hurray.

Anyway that was 8:08pm, now it's 2:40am. B-Z as a BEE all of a sudden ugh. So the witching hour is almost upon us! Actually that's sort of unclear, cause I'm not too sure what time exactly that starts. I'd assume 3am though, 2am doesn't quite have as dark a feeling as 3am does. Hello hello it's the witching hour, don't you run away and cower!

So it's the start of the shortest month in the year. Can't decide if that's a good thing or not, it's like you're being cheated of 3 days/year, then again if you're suffering or sth then you'll probably go like "phew feb will be over and done with in just 28days!" or sth. But by the end of this month, I will be thousands of nautical miles away from here, more likely than not suffering like a canine, and longinggggggggg to be home. Ohwell. It's gonna be fun!

Anw I was discussing with one of my friends today and we concluded we'd love to visit a port that's way up north, so we can get to wear our jackets and gloves and stuff like that. Then we realized we both shared the same dream of one day getting to wear, wait for it.. a trenchcoat! I think trenchcoats look totally awesome srsly. Coupled with one of those hats Sherlock Holmes wears, or those..... (Okay so I went and googled and actually managed to find a hat glossary woohoo!) Bowler hats! Reminds me of The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

So yeah I told myself that however I'm going to make it happen, I have to live somewhere I get to wear trenchcoats at least for a short while. Hopefully not too old or not I'll be all old and saggy and won't look at all awesome in it. Haha! Vanity. But I'm not the only guy who has ever thought of that so at least I feel quite reassured! Nonetheless, vanity! Hahaa whatever.

Well. We men manufacture our own luck. That was my second random thought of the day. Just thought of it, not sure how it applies. Maybe it refers to those times when you're waiting and waiting, just waiting, for something to happen. And you think that, surely! something good is going to happen to me, my luck will turn soon! So yeah, it could mean sth like that I guess. Or maybe it's about creating opportunities for yourself or sth. Be your own Providence, or sth.

Hokay so that shall be all, booking out tomorrow, for a glorious 4+ days! Probably be so bz enjoying myself I shan't update at all. Then I'll be onboard ship and not be able to due to the possible lack of internet (damn!) Next week is gonna suck if we don't have internet access :/ Ohwell sigh, let's see how things go then. Happy CNY all, don't gorge yourself on ba kwa and almond cookies and all their delicious friends okay!