Wednesday 16 February 2011

To Fair Winds And Following Seas.

Will be my departure post. You knew it was coming, right. I might, after typing this, head out for The King's Speech or I may collapse onto my bed and let oblivion take me through my last few hours here. Don't intend to let that happen but my eyelids! they don't listen to me no more. Or some sneaky fellow has been adding minuscule weights to them even while I'm still conscious (I think), that's how sneaky he is!

Btw The Black Swan was terrifyingly good. It was freaking intense, srsly. Don't let me spoil it for you, just go and watch it. And Natalie Portman was breathtaking, she's such an awesome actress. (I like her way better than her lookalike, Keira Knightley) From Leon the Professional to V for Vendetta, simply awesome!

Also the book The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. I watched the movie a few years back (thank god for my ability to watch movies alone) and had always wanted to read the book. It is a gem. I brought it out today and finished it, and my day was quite packed it was! From blood donation to marks & spencers (to buy biscuits and cereal hehe) to rushing back home for dinner to rushing down to causeway point for the movie to supper with ym. And I woke up at 2 too. Brilliant.

The one part that (maybe just for today) really was quite arresting was the part about: The women we were unable to love, the chances we failed to seize, the moments of happiness we allowed to drift away.

The keenest regret we feel comes about from the smallest things. The smallest of near-misses. That your life could have been so different (better? perhaps not) if you had done, or not done, something. And your destiny seems to hinge on the smallest of decisions, does it not?

And so the onus is on us to do right by ourselves. To explore every possible avenue of happiness that life avails us. To catch, like butterflies, every fleeting passing moment of happiness and hold on to it (and keep them alive, unlike those poor exquisite pressed butterflies.) To leave no stone unturned in our grand quest for that quasi-mythical thing they call happiness. Haha@onus though, it's such a grand and pretentious word to use. Also, it makes me feel like a Man on a Mission. And quasi reminds me of Quasimoto.

But yeah, I wouldn't want a life of regrets. So maybe everytime I'm in a conundrum I should go, Why not? and just go for it, the better choice rather than the safer one. I wouldn't want to be the kind of person who looks back at his/her life and go, sigh, what if.

Since we're somewhere on the subject. I think it's time to start living life to the fullest. A life like that though, I have decided, does not promise happiness. It is perfectly possible that someone who lives his life fully is not has happy as someone who doesn't, as it is vice versa. Nonetheless. When given a choice, I'll take the scenic route. Eat the foods I've never eaten before. Choose the unfamiliar.

Which also brings me to this, and you should try this someday, it's really exciting. The last time I was in India I told myself to order only food I'd never seen or heard of before. And sometimes I wouldn't ask for any description whatsoever of aforementioned unknown dish (and sometimes when I do ask they reply me in unintelligible heavily accented English, so that amounts to the same thing) and let myself be surprised (sometimes shocked) at what I finally get. I'll do the same this time, I only hope I have the stomach for it!

Another line from the book was: Those castaways on the shores of loneliness. And this was intriguing primarily cause my first thought upon reading it was, are we not natives? And I decided that no, we shouldn't be natives. The world would be a nicer place if our base state was that of companionship instead, yes?

I thought I'd finish up my story before setting sail, but in the last month or so I haven't written anything more than 2 lines, and I cancelled out a large chunk too. I guess it'll have to wait. I have no idea how it's going to end, that's the problem. Sigh. But I guess if a man to whom moving an eyelid is the extent of his movement can write a whole book, I should be able to write one story no problem.

Btw the CNY Squeezy Bloodrop is quite cute, like its Deepavali counterpart. Am looking forward to the Christmas one, and to discovering what other Squeezy Bloodrops they have. I'm gonna be a champion donor in no time woohoo!

Okay I've quite exhausted myself now. And I think I'll sleep, and miss the glorious morning but ohwell. I'm looking at a super lack of sleep for the next 6 weeks, so I think I'm allowed some downtime now!

To the 65th, to fair winds and following seas.

Why not?

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