Nothing Changes On New Year's Day.

Hi guys, this will be my last post of 2010. My previous post was my 101th, and the one before that the 100th. Sounds like milestones eh? Sounds like the posts should be more significant just because it's linked arbitrarily to some special nice sounding number. But they're not any more special. And well, neither is new year's day.

What I'm trying to say is, people imbue the new year with so much hope. They make the new year out to be some special life-changing day where all of a sudden their lives will somehow magically turn around or something. It won't. Your troubles aren't left behind in 2010 just because the sun has gone above your head for the 366th time. You aren't a better person just because the calendar starts anew. New year's day is just another day.

You get what I'm saying don't you? Nothing changes on new year's day. If you wanted to turn your life around, you could have done it anytime, you didn't have to wait till now.

Of course, I'm not 100% so cynical and skeptical. It is of course a good time for you to decide to start doing something, or to stop. Say if you decided to stop gambling, or drinking or something, but you just can't seem to do it. New year's day would probably be a good day to firm your resolve and to stop once and for all. I guess that works lah. I just don't buy into the whole mythical idea of the new year.

It's just a sort of signpost on the highway of time. A distance marker in the marathon of life. And everyone knows the stupid marker doesn't give you an energy gel or a banana or something, yet somehow seeing the distance you've run so far (and have yet to cover, or how slow you've been) spurs you to run that little bit faster. But it's all in your mind.

Nothing changes on New Year's Day - U2, New Year's Day.

So this is the new year, and I don't feel any different - Death Cab for Cutie, The New Year.

Badass songs by some badass artistes, which got me to thinking about it and typing this post. Typically, an end of year post also comes with a reflection of sorts, a stock taking and an assessment of your year. So.

My 2010 started off with a whimper. Or a rather sad BANG, if you're into black humour. I must say it got better, of course it scarcely could have gone otherwise. They say when you're down the only way is up after all. So from way down in the dumps, I got myself a job (M1) for 2 months and then another (Honourable Naval Officer) for the next X number of years (Where X is possibly a very large number, but it could possibly also be quite small. Therein lies the mystery of X.)

That's the gist of my year thus far. In the sense that those were the big choices I made which have had a large impact on my life. I've been off my parents' money the whole year, and every dollar that I've taken from them this year I have laboured to return. That's what I call a positive impact. I have not strayed since entering army (although my journey to Neverland later might just prove to be that,) I have not taken up smoking or drinking or any other such vice. Leisure drinking and very rarely at that, that's all. My usage of vulgarities did not increase upon entering the armed forces.

I have learnt to wash my clothes and sweep/mop/wipe/scrub/clean places ranging from my room to the toilet to the corridors of wingline. I have cooked and survived my cooking. I have gone travelling alone and also lived to tell the tale. I have been in a jungle and lived on a ship. And more. In terms of experience, this year is my greatest year yet. First year out of school and this is what we get. School is overrated, no? We have been frogs in a well with a lid on it and a fat man was sitting on the lid.

It's been quite a year. I've learnt how to pick myself up (which makes me think of a great song Pieces of What by MGMT) and to move on. I've learnt how to take care of myself (yes I've been quite useless as a person till now.) I've learnt a somewhat painful lesson in naivety {[which makes me think of the song (Cheating) Gets it Faster by Jimmy Eat World](note the clever use of the bracket system thing taught in mathematics!)}

I think I've been generally a nicer person. The one statistic I'm quite happy about is not losing my temper during BMT at all. I've been more filial, I guess. I've been giving money to the household, and I'm quite proud of my contributions. I've not given my parents much to worry about, I hope. I've tried to be the best I could be. I've tried to act honorably at all times. I've tried not to let my interest and emotions get in the way of others. Whether I've succeeded or not, I don't know. But the very fact that I even tried, that says something yes? Sort of like, if somebody tries to be genuinely nice, then that makes him a nice guy right? The very fact that he wants to be nice means that he is, in fact, nice. Right? Sorry, it's a personal point that I have to make.

This could have turned out to be a very bad year. I could have made some terrible choices and indulged in self-destructive tendencies. So I'm glad it's turned out this way. Oh yeah I have to add picking up rock-climbing and dragonboating as some of the plus points this year. Being owned by my brother in every way during climbing was simply humbling.

And working at M1 was, looking back, an awesome experience. Thanks of course to bufflordshin and jiamin from hot bods, and fitmin for driving us to buy durians almost every night haha! Skipping work so frequently, huge meals every lunch, laughing at cui/gay/nerd colleagues, being berated by chinese-speaking aunties who were transferred over by ws in the first place.. It was an epic time, and strangely cathartic too haha!

Okay there is alot more to look back upon, so I shan't. Because I'm hungy and my time for dinner is running out. So, until next year then, and enjoy your countdown!

Winter In Singapore.

Actually no, but I am down with a cold! Must be what winter feels like heh. Same difference. So today feels more christmas-sey than christmas itself. I seriously do think it's cause of my cold. I feel cold (i.e. winter) wear a long sleeved shirt (i.e. winter) and drink hot chocolate (YOU GET MY POINT) and lepak at home. Hohoho. And take an mc so I didn't book in back to camp. Well!

It was such a good idea to go gai gai on my own after dinner on christmas. I got caught in the rain and therefore fell sick and therefore am having a most awesome time now. Loving it, if only I weren't actually sick. Although that doesn't work out at all.. Whatever. Logical thinking is over-rated.

Anyway I was walking down orchard road, basically just following the lights haha. Purple then blue then red. So I wanted to reach the end of the red lights cause I wanted to see where it ended. Hmm that sounds silly. Anyway. It was actually quite a distance away and I reached a part of orchard where I've never been before, which was quite weird. I'd have thought that since orchard is like such a prominent destination and one of the defining places of singapore, I'd have walked down the whole stretch before. I discovered some tanglin shopping centre or mall thing, and more. Some quite quaint looking shops too. Very interesting that. I wonder why I've never seen all of that before, I'm a terrible singaporean.

Stupid mrt didn't extend its services that night, so I had to make my way back home (since supper didn't work out sigh) by 11.30. Tch. So the night was still young and I decided not to go home immediately. At first I was thinking just supper or coffee at the classy little place near my house (McCafe) but I thought better of it. Checked out the out of the way club/cafe al fresco next to the railway, and it turned out to be quite decent! Quite a nice atmosphere there I guess, will probably go there for supper more.

Quite a happy christmas actually, even though I didn't really do much. I do feel rather content about it though. ERGO, it was a happy christmas! I've been itching to use the word ergo ever since I started typing so I sort of just stuffed it in somehow. Such a cute little word. Also, it must be very irritating if someone were to ever use it seriously. Some people I think, are too convinced of their own intelligence.

I think christmas was satisfactory primarily cause I'm quite happy with life right now. I was alone that night cause I wanted to be, and it turned out to be a very agreeable night indeed. I'm glad I like me, or I couldn't stand being with myself all the time. It's a good thing I find myself to be quite interesting LOL. I'm quite good at amusing myself (if you haven't already noticed.)

But yeah. Last christmas I wasn't so keen on being alone so I turned out quite miserable. This year I've reconciled with myself, so it was peachy. Funny though, I haven't met a single friend over the christmas weekend.. Do you think they still love me?! What's new srsly, confirm they bo jio one. Sua.

Oh yes special mention to my man Gareth for my first and only christmas present this year! Metamorphosis by Kafka. Interesting cause I always found Kafka interesting, but I never actually wanted to read him. Now that I have the book though, I have no excuse. It's sort of like Haruki Murakami and Milan Kundera and Salman Rushdie and that Aravind guy or sth who wrote the tiger book, where the authors and their books sort of intrigued me, but not to the extent where I would actually get around to borrowing and reading their books. Will be changing that now, whatwith having already read kundera and having bought murakami and salman rushdie books. Yey me.

And to anyone out there who cares, don't buy me a birthday present just for the sake of buying one okay. If it's just for formalities' sake and not really heartfelt then don't bother! Save yourself the trouble and the wracking of brains and all. I mean it only cause I hate buying gifts myself. I never have a clue what in the world to buy for others, and I expect others can't find it easy to buy stuff for me either. Thank goodness no gift exchange this year! How does anyone find some random generic gift (rule states under $20 or sth too) which is suitable for everybody?! Although I must say I did like the towel I got (from ang I think) that christmas (which seems to be ages ago.) It's a rare gift, the buying of gifts. One I am sadly un-endowed with.

Anyway, hi sister. And maybe, brother too. Don't tell me if you all read my blog or what lah. Paiseh leh. I'll blog differently if I'm aware of who my audience is. I'll be more aware of what I type and all, and we don't want that do we! AND don't try and pry into my (lack of) love life and ask me if I'm talking about some girl or whatnot based on what I post please! You can talk to me about what I post, less the girl and relationship parts. Also if you're in dire need of financial assistance you can leave a comment and I'll do what I can do help you Godfather style. HAHA.

Anyway, the weather has been pissing lately. Not pissing as in pissing me off, but as in really pissing. The clouds are like massive oversized leaky bladders. At least this let's us know that climate change hasn't been too drastic yet, unlike last year where the monsoon was non-existent. It got me really worried for a while. Driest Nov/Dec/Jan ever. I thought it was dryest. Spellcheck corrected me. Ergo, AI > Me. The machines are going to take over the world.

On that point, Marvin (the paranoid android) is so irritating and amusing at the same time. All this while I have this faint hope that he'll lighten up a little, but my brain tells me he'll never do that! Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, incase you don't know what I'm talking about. Has got to be the most random book(s) ever. It's page after page of nonsense. You should read it too lol, I'm on book 3 or 4 now.

And Big Bang Theory is amazing!! I'm only on episode 7 or 8 of season 1 though! Slowpoke. I'll try to cram in more time to watch it somehow. Maybe I'll evolve into slowbro. Pokemon references are teh cool btw. And I am an exponent of it, believe me.

Hahah this has evolved into a very long post, how this has happened without my knowledge is beyond me. I don't really have that much to say, but I still say it anyway. Ramble on and on and on and on so annoying. I'm sorry! Why can't I ever do a short and succinct post?

Okay. Spread the festive cheer, or failing that, spread a cold or a flu or something. Just spread something (don't say peanutbutter or jam or sth that's damn lame). I hope nothing venereal though, I'd be quite sad for you... Haha!

Merry Christmas.

Merry christmas everybody, hope the festive season has been nice to you thus far. I have no plans for today, save for dinner with family. I think I'll head out soon, indulge in some shopping for myself, and if by some freak occurrence manage to spot nice little gifts for anybody, buy them as well. Basically bum about Orchard Road or wherever to soak up the sights and sounds.

Hope I have happy time today. And to you guys too, I wish you happy times as well. Make the best of your christmas. And year end leave/break if you're so blessed. I'm not. SIGH.

Anw I made spaghetti yesterday and it didn't suck, so I guess I can count it as a moderate success! Heh. Yan can cook okay!

See, it's easy to be a happy person, if you only want it. Just cook a meal and feel proud of yourself or something. Or maybe that's only me haha!

Hokay. Stay happy, if you're not already happy, then what are you waiting for, go be happy!

Manufactured Memories Mandatory.

I lost my little notebook where I penned down some of the random thoughts I have from time to time. I remember one of the things I wrote said this: There are memories to be made here (with me). I don't know what state of mind I was in when I wrote that or the circumstance involved. But in an effort not to let that little black book go to waste, here I am to write a bit about that.

Memories are all well and good. A memory of a happier you, a memory of what it was like to be carefree, a memory of a person dear to you. Memories. But don't live in the past. Don't live life looking over your shoulders all the time. Know this, that memories are there to be made every moment that you live. It's up to you to want to form new memories, starting from now, starting from tomorrow.

Well this happens to me, not sure if it does to you, but sometimes almost everything you do or everything that happens to you reminds you of something in your past. It becomes difficult to live in the present if you keep casting your mind back doesn't it? You think, oh, someone used to do this with me, I used to go there with somebody, etc etc. That's perfectly fine, but don't let it hinder you from experiencing something new each time.

In the here and now, life goes on. Move on, too. Don't have half your mind dwelling in the past. Live the present. Alright, don't let the bed bugs bite.

Anyway Arctic Monkeys are awesome! Pure unabashed brit rock there, too good for words.

A Madness Most Meaningless.

I could easily have put my title as a madness most meaningful instead. Meaningless has a nicer ring to it though. I'm not sure which one more appropriately applies to me though. The madness is a given. It's purpose and meaning, maybe not so clear. I'm not sure what I'm doing now.

I'm not sure what I want. I have a propensity to daydream, yes I do. Trouble is, I don't know if I actually want those dreams to be realized or not. Supposedly dreams are from your subconscious i.e. they should reflect your real desires or somesuch nonsense. I don't know about that. Maybe sometimes, you think you want something, when actually you don't. Do you get what I'm saying? Maybe, probably not. Maybe sometimes, we've been conditioned to think we want something. Society dictates you should want to excel academically, you should want to get married and start a happy family, you should want to do this, or do that. But maybe you don't want to. But you don't know that, cause of all the conditioning you've been through. And when you finally get what you're supposed to want, maybe you find you aren't that happy at all.

That's totally not what I had in mind when I started out. Hmm. Let's leave it at that.

9:3x for 2.4. Steady drop there, I've got to do something about it. Maybe I start by buying new shoes, a christmas present for myself. Of course I've already gone and done that, what with buying 11 books and all. But I think I'm entitled to 2 presents this year. I've been good for goodness' sake! Oh, I better watch out, I better not cry..

I've been gripped by a madness lately. That's a bit of a misnomer. It's not necessarily such a bad thing as the word would seem to imply. I don't know what's going to come out of it so I can't say with certainty if it's a good or a bad thing. What I know is that I'm doing something with no clear purpose in mind, and my intent is shrouded, even to me. Maybe I do know my intent but I'm trying to deny it. Hmm. I don't know how to put it, and it probably doesn't interest you either, so I'll stop here.

Christmas is approaching. No, I feel no festivity whatsoever yet again. It's very worrying. But I'm an optimistic kind of fella. Last christmas was one of the worst christmases I've had. I don't think it was THE worst ever, though. Ditto my new year. Heh for the people whom I spent them with last year I apologize, this sentiment has nothing to do with you in any way! But it was torrid, really awful. This year I'm feeling pretty hopeful, somehow. Hah.

It's so easy to go mad. To just lose yourself with wild abandon. Anyone can do that. What's hard is staying true to yourself. That's why even now, I don't exactly approve or like the idea of drinking (or more accurately getting drunk) and partying and all. Imbibing alcohol is just another way of inducing madness. Some people say when you're drunk your true colours show. I don't really believe in that. When you're drunk you do things you never usually do. How does that indicate any "true colours" shining through? Liquid courage, as they say, is just that. It's not your courage. And clubbing/partying, well. Losing yourself in a mass/mess of people, safe in the knowledge that nobody really cares about what you do there, content that people will just pass your actions off as "oh, he/she's just letting loose for a bit," or, "just drunk, that's all," or whatever reasons they care to provide for you. Of course this is all just me. Certainly you have your own good reasons to do whatever it is you do, and what I said totally didn't make sense or apply to you. It's just my personal opinion on this.

I think there's something to be said for stoicism. In this day and age, with all your budding psychiatrists and expert counsellors around, it's all about finding an outlet. Finding an outlet for all your emotion, your expression. It says something about the self-centredness of people. In a sense. That's just a belief I hold, that I can't exactly put into words. But stoicism still has its place. Enduring and not complaining. The complain culture is something quite prevalent really. I remember discussing this with my german friend Jacob in cameron highlands haha.

Which reminds me that I should probably plan for a backpacking trip once more. Early days yet, as all procrastinators like to say, so we'll keep this one on the backburner! Some vague ideas running amok within my head though. But what with (maybe) uni and all, it's going to be a little difficult to organize I think. Don't wanna end up disappointing myself with a trip that doesn't materialize.

You know, sometimes when I blog I have somebody in mind. Not the "oh you're always on my mind" kind of thing. But sort of like this specific person I want to say something to. Other times though, I have this sense that I'm trying to say something, but I'm not sure who I want to say it to. And sometimes over the course of writing out a bloody long post the intended person actually changes. Just wanted to share this cause I realize some of my posts are very messy really, with no discernible message or anything. And that sometimes you might think my post is about you, but it really is not. Or sometimes it actually is, if you read the subtleties clearly enough. But don't try too hard to find them lah. If it's not about you it's not.

Well. Half an hour left to sleep, I've totally mucked up my time management didn't I! Just kill me, or at least beat me senseless (not that I'm very senseful currently.) It's probably a more satisfactory condition than the one I'll find myself in tomorrow. That is, struggling through the day feeling like rubbish and wishing death upon myself and feeling stupid at the same time.

Sigh. Toodles.

Millepushups!

I can't let anyone just wave away my punishment like that. I owe it to myself to serve it out in full, even if I have to do it in the quiet of my cabin all lonesome and all. If I got me any punishment, I probably deserved it. And therefore it is hello creaky elbows and sore nehneh muscles, and byebye triceps. It begins here, that quest for more. I can't let myself down anymore.

I shall begin training in earnest. Yes I do. Everyone knows for a fact that once you put something down on your blog, you're eternally obliged to fulfil it. (See also: To-Do Lists on Blogs) But seriously, it's pretty upsetting to see my 2.4 just plummet like that. I will do a marathon next year. Biathlon, meh. Learn2swim first mebbe. See, if I actually decide to do a marathon, I have no choice but to train for it. Genius, or what?!

Well I did promise myself to run a marathon this year too. Clearly not very successful in that respect. Although I very very ALMOST, went for Run for Hope and some other 10km race or sth. The operative word being "ALMOST", in case you weren't quite alerted by the caps.

Don't you wish somebody would save you. Save you from your darkest nightmares and deepest fears. Save you from your own thoughts. Save you from the life you seem destined to lead, no matter how you resist. Save you from being swallowed up and chewed upon and spit out by life and its machinations. Save you from being just one more in a long line of workers churned out year after year. Save you from being merely ordinary. Save you from mediocrity.

Nobody wants to be mediocre. The law of relativity, however, states that there has to be such people. Yes? Well, don't believe it, don't succumb to it. You're better than that. It's true we don't always run out winners everytime. But that doesn't change anything. All your preparation and dedication, your hard work and your passion, that's what sets you apart. If you could only see it yourself.

Of course. Losing sucks. Colours seem a little duller. Food becomes a little blander. Your limbs don't seem as willing to get moving. Your head just wants to remain stuck in the gutter. You moan alot and can't seem to muster the slightest smile. Everything has become so pointless. Life sucks. Okay I might be exaggerating, but if I am it's not by much.

But don't let any single event affect you so horribly. You're the same person you were before, except maybe a little jaded and a little bit more world-weary. I guess it's all part of growing up, and that process isn't complete unless you move on. So. It's time to grow up now. It's time to move on. There are people out there who love you. And there are people out there for you to love. You have friends who will stand by you. Life is never meaningless or pointless. It's up to you to find your own reason. Your raison d'etre, if you will.

Well. Enjoy your day, or night, or maybe more specifically your dusk or your dawn. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you enjoy yourself, wherever and whenever you are. Smiles (:

Wedding Bells and 20mm Shells.

Greetings from the great beyond. Or as it is also otherwise known, confinement. I've endured a terrible weekend, involving food, sleep, dragonboating, and 6 movies in 2 days. Okay I know you're thinking, what?! But that's awesome! That's where you're wrong. It's NEVER awesome when you're FORCED to do all that. Yes, boredom has forced my hand. Quite apart from the dragonboat though that was quite awesome. 6 movies in 2 days. My goodness. And if you consider for a moment that one of those movies was.. friggin' The Hot Chick, you know I've had a torrid time. I told myself never to watch crappy Rob Schneider/ Adam Sandler/ Jack Black or generally other think-he's-funny-but-not-actually-funny-man's movie ever again. I have failed in this aspect.

Well. This abject failure watched Goal!, (the punctuation alarms me too, ! and , were never meant to exist happily side by side) The Longest Yard, Coach Carter, Hot Chick, Hitch and also Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Emma Watson is dreadfully cute really. It's a wonder I didn't fall in love with her then. This only happened in Prisoner of Azkaban.. And Ginny is as ugly as ever. Okay lah, a bit cuter but I guess she can't help it, most kids are cute anyway.

Slightly on topic, very slightly maybe, is lousy liverpool. HOW COULD THEY HAVE LOST TO NEWCASTLE?! Was Santiago Munez playing for the Toons or something?! (This is from Goal!, one of the movies I watched over the weekend. I think you have to watch the movie to get my joke. Quite a lousy one to be honest.) Liverpool are abjecter than me. Abjax to the max. Correction, louyapool. Go Spurs!!

Okay I decided to blog today cause today has been slightly different. Apart from feeling sad from confinement of course. I think, maybe, I can begin to hope again. Not for much, no way. But it's a start. But what I'd like to say today is about hopes and fears.

Thus the title, wedding bells. Our hopes and our fears are inevitably married to each other. Invariably, when you hope, you fear. As you open yourself to hope, you allow fear to creep in as well. Has it ever occured to you that at the moments in your life where you are filled with great, soaring hope, massive pits of self-doubt are simultaneously opened? Let's say, something as simple as test results. You hope and sort of believe you will do well, but some part of you sees the downside instead, and you become fearful and nervous. Yes?

Or maybe, say, you ask somebody out. You throw your phone away from you immediately after pressing the send button, you are totally petrified by the thought of her/him replying you. You are at once hopeful, and wracked by self-doubt. Tough huh. The emotions seem to be in direct conflict, both sides of a bitter warring kingdom, polar opposites. But the north pole and the south pole, they're still points on the same earth. And you can't have the earth without both these poles. You can never separate one from the other. In good times and in bad. In sickness and in health. In joy as well as in sorrow. Deal with it.

The fear, it's inescapable. If you never fear losing something, then that something isn't worth your while. The fear is an indication of how much you treasure and cherish that something. So, don't be afraid to fear.

Hope that makes sense to you. Made alot of sense to me while it was in my head! In words though, don't know how it'll work out. Sometimes I think I'm preaching to myself. Am I still afraid to hope? Yes no maybe so. Such is life. Sometimes you think your fears are unfounded, then... that turns around and nips you in the ass. You were foolish to ignore your gut feeling, your instincts. Your fears were never unfounded after all. You couldn't have been further from the truth.

Absolute trust is a pretty concept. Something I probably still believe in, maybe, I think. But it takes just one moment where you are too trusting, just one moment, and poof. Everything. Is. Gone. How's that ever gonna work out? Hmm?

Just random thoughts. It's been almost a year now. I had 3 wishes for christmas last year and I think it's time for some stock-taking, see how well those wishes have been manifesting. The result? I don't know. The jury's still out. There's still 12 days to the anniversary of those wishes, and boy do I wish they come true. With all the pleading some nerd guy on a keyboard (for those not in the know, that's me, nerdboi92) can summon, please make it so.

Anyhoo, it's 3am now. Man needs sleep or he dies. I am Man. Man am I. G'night folks. Those of you at work, happy working. In school, happy schooling. In army, happy army-ing. In airforce, happy slacking. Haha jacked. Byebye now.

EDIT: Hi it's 0611 now. I wanted to add this cause well, it's pertinent. I wake up today, energized and full of hope for the future, feeling so happy about life in general. Then I open my ration box for breakfast. 'Nuff said. Those of you unfortunate enough, will know about TMB. The Monday Breakfast. Upon setting my eyes on it, I cannot help but let fly with a TMD. Seriously. Who manages to make sausages suck?! Somebody is out to destroy my faith in the universe and life and love and the love of food. I cave in. Life sucks. I suck. Sulk. Double dose of Prozac for me plz! Here's to your breakfast not sucking as much as mine. Ciao.

And They Sing Wave Goodbye, Wave Goodbye.

And a hello to you. Have not had the time to type like this for a very long while now. Okay, probably not true but it's not my fault dota tops my priority list given the limited time I have at home ): Decided instead to write in camp, maybe sacrificing a bit of sleep here, a bit of rest there, just so I can get some of my thoughts down. Metacognition is a useful thing I think.

But yeah been pretty busy these past few weeks, with weekends being burnt and all. Still have not done uni application which really is not cool at all, and haven't done shopping too. Haha how girly is that. Shopping! Been meaning to buy lots of stuff for a long time though, but ever since coming back from india I have purchased a grand total of zer0 items for myself, save for 2 shirts from threadless (awesome shirts nonetheless.)

So. Well it definitely isn't the lack of something to say that caused me not to blog for what, almost 2 months now. Probably the longest hiatus I've ever had, which says alot about how much rubbish my brain spews out on a regular basis. And skipping the whole of november too sigh. So many smart things to say about that month. November Has Come a la Gorrillaz. November Rain, GnR. And the 5th of November courtesy of V for Vendetta. I somehow contrived to miss all these clever little pop/cultural references.

Still remember my last 5th of November though. What can I say? Poof. Life is so different now, comparisons are probably meaningless. Doesn't keep me from yearning for that life though.

Last week was pretty shit. I was pretty down for a while, and I can't say I'm absolutely over it now. Somehow the things that I work for, never really seem to work out. I might put in effort but either it's not recognized, as was the case, or my efforts are completely futile. It's happened. Maybe I seem to not care very much about anything, or maybe even not much about anyone. I don't know.

Not my most articulate of posts maybe. Some things you just don't divulge (or can't) if you have an audience, even if it's a phantom cyber-audience you don't know is watching. But yeah.

So just some random inputs here and there from the past few weeks. I had a haircut and it didn't exactly turn out ideally. That's understating it a fair bit. A big fair bit. I had a flat top but thank goodness that's being slowly rectified now. Hurray for malleable hair.

Aren't kids just the most awesome little creatures around? I was walking home one day and it was just beginning to rain. I reached my void deck and there was this poor little girl, probably P2-4, getting ready to brave the rain by covering her head with an NTUC plastic bag. Okay I probably described it quite badly. What I'm trying to say is that she looked totally cute doing that (not in a pedo bear kind of way) and it reminded me of the antics that kids come up with all the time.

Swimming is so very tiring. I'm a lousy swimmer, yes, I readily admit. But having stitches and cramps? And having my legs feel like they'd been transmogrified into jelly? Way more than I bargained for. I suck. And now a headache from the exhaustion to boot. I suck doubly.

Speaking of which I haven't watched any movies apart from Unstoppable which was surprisingly good. There was Red and Wall Street and..... and some other movies I had intended to watch. Totally not keeping up with the latest movies. Nor TV series. Lagging so far behind the series I follow, it'll probably be suicidal to embark on new ones. But The Big Bang Theory does seem to be very promising. Oh well. Hopefully when I'm done with OCS time would be something much more readily available to me.

I did rewatch 500 Days of Summer and Yes Man and watched The Hurt Locker too, all in one week. Not the brightest of ideas, believe me. I was barely awake the whole week. But it did reaffirm my undying love for Zooey Deschanel. Especially in 500 days. It really was an awesome movie, probably some of the hype got to some people though, and they didn't enjoy it quite as much as they should. To these poor people I'd recommend watching it again, don't let any movie get bogged down with your expectations of it. You're doing both yourself and the movie a grave injustice. The Hurt Locker also was quite good but a bit overrated I think. Hah maybe I'm guilty of overexpecting too.

I trust myself to actually start blogging in camp quite regularly, so I'll save some of my stuff for next time. Might turn out to be a very bad idea, I know exactly how untrustworthy I am myself.
Well I promise myself I'll do it. Promises do mean something still, don't they? Hah.