Life Begins In Earnest, Again.

Morning guys, I just heard church bells, which is quite surprising. I thought they were rung only on the first of every month? And why at 9am? And why am I still awake?! Very mysterious sort of questions you see. So I'm gonna sleep very soon cause your brain works idk how many percent like more than 50% while you're asleep but when you're awake your brain, that is your conscious mind which only takes up a small portion of your neural nets and stuff, works only like idk how many percent like less than 10%! Maybe I'll wake up with the answer to all my questions, and the answer to life also which actually I already know and is 42.

Anw I was just updating my profile on facebook by adding all those books and movies and tv shows and stuff. I can't believe I didn't have HIMYM already. And I spent a fair bit of time pondering over what movies/books I've already read/watched, and which of them were actually good. Quite a good thing to do actually, to recall all this stuff.

Anw I went to look through the books I own to see which of them I've read and were good. Somehow my collection doesn't seem quite as awe-inspiring as I remember it to be!! Now it looks like a sad little pile and random scattering of books around my room rather than that towering tower I thought it was after purchasing like almost 20 books in 3 weeks. In fact, it was only after splurging and bingeing on those books that I realized how many awesome book deals there are around! Popular/Harris had like 20% off every title till the new year or sth, and Borders had sth like that or a voucher thing with every $75 purchase! I can safely tell you I was SORELY TESTED. My will was beginning to dissolve and my resolve, crumble. Then I recall $350 on dinner (shark fin's soup sigh I am like contributing to environmental/ecosystematical disaster) and I man up, turning my face away from all those temptations. Ecosystematical is not really a word but it sounds terribly clever and professional doesn't it?

Anw I was at Borders during Christmas and I thought it was very nice! As in it was almost 12 already and it was still open, which is very pleasant isn't it? And the one or two cafes there looked like such decent places to grab a cuppa or sth, and just have a mellow time reading the fresh new books that you bought from borders. Sth about these big bookstores totally draws me in. Harris not so, maybe cause the JP one is all metallic with fluorescent lights and seems sorta cold and impersonal to me. But the others have idk, maybe wooden furniture, or are sort of unkempt and messy and haphazard and therefore sort of cozy. Generally they have a very pleasant atmosphere so you're willing and wanting to stay inside. Kinokuniya and Borders (at least the flagship one idk about the rest) definitely, PageOne maybe, MPH not really.

I should totally have gotten the membership for Borders lah, it's so accessible and easy to go to. But I'm a popular member already so I can't bear to spend any more money on another similar membership :( Borders sounds so much more atas somemore. Maybe I should lah hor. But cannot also, my this month's OUTFLOW > INFLOW I think, spending money like a fool. Haven't even gone to Neverland (:O) yet. The horror.

Anw I must say the present from my dear friends mussels and clams (I'm going to call you guys that cause you tried to bastard me. Freaking 5th floor of wm, macs, pastamania...! S. U. A.) has got to be the most original thing I have ever received in my life. A labour of love. The amount of sheer sweat and tears, the effort you guys put in, I cannot imagine. From the heart of my bottom I thank ye. I'm srsly gonna frame it up for its pure value on the epic-ness scale. 5827/100 marks for idea and execution. Lubs euux guyz lotza lotz.

Oh and I am quite upset with myself at how many movies I did not watch last year. So many times I say, Wah this one confirm must watch already, but I fail to do so. Really need to be attached then will watch many movies meh? No way man, single people (like obviously, me) are just as capable of watching many movies too. Don't see us no up. But some movies are better enjoyed with company that's for sure. The converse of course is true, believe me. Some of the movies I've watched I cannot imagine having watched it with someone else. Esp those picturehouse that kind, dunno who will be willing to put up with me and watch those films. Emo sia.

Anw I guess I had to come to this topic sooner or later. My birthday celebrations were good. Somehow these creative people manage to avoid giving me an actual birthday cakes most of the time. Apple strudel to cupcakes, quite brilliant. Quite shiok lah just lepak and chitchat and drink and try to wiggle secrets out here and there. Thanks for the present too much appreciated. And with my family at this more than decent western restaurant, quite delicious fare and filling to boot! Damn worth it. And an actual birthday cake (1 candle only though the staff were lazy) which was pretty awesome. I especially know this cause I just had it for breakfast too, so it should be quite credible. St Leaven's or sth, from takashimaya. High Class Cake, I like,

Oh and a watch from my man shaowei. That was good man, even though it costs probably like 25-35 dollars or sth. It's a casio watch. You may think wah low-class cheapskate bugger but I think differently. It's a good and thoughtful gift, what a nice soft touch shaowei has! Hahah that probably sounds like the gay statement of the year or sth. You know I don't mean it literally of course!

Okay on a random note here's a thought I had from christmas, but which strangely I didn't blog about in my christmas post. Does that make it a new year thought instead? Nevermind. Actually it's a line, the first line, of Get Back by Teh Beatles. It goes (I changed the name Jojo. What man is called JoJo?!@) He was a man who thought he was a loner, but he knew it couldn't last. I actually thought along those lines, before actually hearing the song, so when I heard it I was quite interested. Good song btw. I've been harping about how I enjoy being alone and single and all. How I enjoy my own company that sort of thing. But I probably won't enjoy it forever, right. One day I'm gonna get tired of myself and annoy the hell out of me. I can't be alone forever. I was thinking, do I still wanna walk down orchard road on christmas day alone, 5 years later? And my answer was quite simply, no.

Being alone just doesn't quite cut it sometimes. Sure you have benefits and you have those emotionally scarred relationship veterans who tell you how relationships suck (or sometimes they're more specific and depending on their gender, they'll say guys suck! or girls suck! which is amusing cause I've heard both) and are never worth it and you're better off alone that sort of thing (which I have always refused to listen to.) I believe that being with somebody, sharing your life with someone, brings with it a certain hmmm, happiness, or bliss, or joy (idk simply cause I have no such experience to draw on) or whatever it is that you can never obtain elsewhere. That's why love is such a magical thing (at least for some, I hope most, of us.) That's why romance sells, your lovesongs and your romcoms and your chicklit with all those impossibly gentlemanly hunky (insert positive adjective) and generally inhuman guys who just melts the heart of every female protagonist. (Off topic but still I must add,) damn spoil market srsly!

What I'm saying is that there's that happiness that can be found nowhere else. Or at least that's what I've heard, or read, or deduced, I don't know and don't bother. I think you should probably get what I mean by now as I've been rambling on for a while now. So yeah I'm actually open to the idea of getting attached. LOL totally like self-advertisement here, like a omg-i'm-available casting call or sth yucks haha. No lah totally not the intention, it's just that some people dunno why, think that I'm not looking for a girlfriend or sth. Not say I'm actively searching lah (cause I'm not), but I'm not averse to the idea! Just want to set the record straight haha!

But then those same people say, sure or not! If not why no girlfriend yet! Say until like damn easy find girlfriend like that. Damn hard okay, I want also nobody want me. Sad leh! The more you say easy to find girlfriend the more emo I feel. Dunno why lah no girl like me one, I also think I not that bad what.. Sibeh sian. LOL. But srsly, it can't be that easy what right. Tsk.

Wah okay damn tired already. Spouting nonsense already. In fact, have spouted quite a bit of nonsense already. Waiting for my dota kaki cause I promised them I will play on sunday. Never thought that I would have no sleep at all since 9am ytd. It was an ill-informed promise srsly. But a promise is a promise sigh. Btw very long never mj alr. I can feel my ZMMT aura building up around me already. Must release it soon...

Damn nerd leh still play dota. Sometimes when I think about it I'm quite amazed. I first touched WC3 in primary 4 or 5, should be 5. Dota at sec1, until now leh. If it were like a small child it'll be in primary school lah. I mean, he. Everyone knows dota is male. But it's still fun okay! To all those naysayers out there... Too bad haha! We sound damn loser but dota is still k000lz man! Its intricacies, the way personal talent and teamwork combine into one juggernaut of a dota player... Geek heaven HAHA.

Speaking of which. Seeing as geek is a label and all. My friend sort of labeled me as a jock. Really?! I very jock meh. Jock has a very negative connotation to me lah. In what way am I jock-like?! Sometimes he says things like, for a jock you're damn geeky (that's when I l33t-speak with other people or play lame flash games on the laptop LOL) or just 2 days back when he said for a sporty guy (not expressly a jock I guess which maybe suggests improvement) you're quite cultural. Or cultured, I can't rmb what word he used lah. Cultured makes me sound like a plant or a flower or sth though. That was when I remarked on Adrian Pang as a thespian (which reminds me I totally have to watch him in theatre at least once.)

I mean, I like to surprise people with how amazing I am lah. But if it stems from an initial bad or at least not so good impression of me, then that's not so gratifying right. Like when last time people thought I'm some badass pai kia or sth LOL. Okay in case you're worrying I'm mostly never assailed by self-doubt, it's just that I'm very tired so I'm typing about the trivial-est of matters like my image and the first impressions people form of me and all. I don't actually care all that much. I read this quote (I'll probably badly disfigure it somehow though) which goes sth like "Don't spend time pleasing others because....?!" I totally forgot it lah actually. Something about not trying to please other people one lah. Somewhere along those lines, mebbe 42.195km down or sth? Who knows.

I'm gonna doze off anytime now. Or start hallucinating or sth. Maybe I'll hallucinate somebody blindfolding me, or covering my eyes. Does that work out to be the same as dozing off?! That's fascinating isn't it.!