I digress. Anw my title isn't about my being in love. (Of course not I'd never divulge that even if I were.) So angela and jolyn and any other kpk (kay poh kia) out there, please don't get too agitated and hurt yourself or something. It's the title of a song by Frou Frou and it is excellent. If you care to listen to the music I listen to, do listen to it. It's such a sad song, about seeing the person you love in love, just not with you.
I can't decide between that and Write About Love as my current fave. My infatuation with Carey Mulligan tells me it's the latter, my mind leans towards the lyrics and sadness of It's Good To Be In Love. Best sort of dilemmas to get stuck in, to have to choose between two brilliant songs!
Which reminds me I might Write About Love in one of my posts. Not the whining kind where I bemoan my lack of it, too many of my posts have unfortunately been about that already! I'm such a whiner. You know, some people call it whinging instead. Probably the english, I remember an englishman using that word. Whinging sounds quirkier, but it lacks the petulance that whining conveys doesn't it? Oh well I'm sure nobody bothers about the English Lessons 101 I conduct.
Y'know I trawled through most my entire blog yesterday, re-reading countless (actually 105) of my old posts (I noticed a few mistakes in writing here and there too! Imagine my surprise, cause I proof-read most of my posts.) I was initially searching for the stories I'd written to save them from being lost under the ashes of time. I even found one that I'd clean forgotten about, Let's Brick Up. I haven't been writing anything for more than a year now, although I've tried. Just keep getting stuck somehow somewhere. I think the best writing is done when you're sort of sad, sort of down. In a pensive contemplative mood. I can't come up with anything at all if I'm happy. If I'm feeling too emo I don't write cause I know the result will probably be something about me and my sad situation or something. Nobody likes to be so conceited!
Ironically, after re-reading my stories, I actually like them quite alot. Hahaha. Conceit right there hey! I'm capable of self-critique okay, I don't have that inflatable an ego as you might think. I could definitely have done way more with Sleepless Night And Neon Lights, I think it's too brief. I Deal In Commodities is really unpolished and not very well done, the only part of it I like was that last paragraph. Ditto with The Tears Shed Into Pillows Deep Into The Night and The Boy Who Saw Dark Clouds, they could do with some editing and tidying up. Which I shan't do cause that's how it should be shouldn't it? Just like people, with all their idiosyncrasies and imperfections. Just like life. I must say that I prefer the title to be The Boy Who Saw Dark Clouds/The Girl With Eyes Like The Summer though, it looks prettier like that and it's more fair like that cause it's an equal tragedy for both. Neither of them can claim to be the sadder.
Huh? Why would they do that? This sounds senseless but I have seen enough people try to be, always, the saddest person around, the person with the saddest most messed up life. Why would you want to do that?! You're an absolute idiot, a fool. What can you possibly gain out of being the most messed up fool amongst fools? You know what I'm talking about don't you? Some guy who asserts that he came out of some relationship so hurt and sad [probably to justify hating that girl (bitch!) or sth. Selfish bastard.] Some people just seem to want to blare out all their problems and misadventures and all. You know, I really hate that, and seeing it makes me want to roll my eyes. Hahaha. I don't roll my eyes often, it's such a gay thing for a guy to do innit! :End digression haha.
If you like my stories though, please tell me so. Leave a comment or something to let me know I'm not an idiot who's the only one who likes (or even read) my products. And of course, everyone wants to be appreciated and stuff like that right! It'd make me a happy man to know people enjoy reading what I write. I'm also curious what other people think of my stories or what thoughts I manage to provoke. Yeah I'm actually canvassing for comments now which is a bit embarrassing... but you could say it's all in an effort to improve myself! But really, tell me what you think of them whatever it is, good or bad please. Mucho appreciated. You can remain anonymous if you're worried or too shy to talk to me.. Hahahhaah.
By the way! I found out you could put labels on your posts! Now I don't have to resurrect my stories from my archives each time I want to find them, which is no easy feat. Technology is so amazing innit!!
So click right about here! (wait till the end of the para for further instructions where since I don't truck around with hyperlinks and stuff) and tell me what you think plx and thz! Btw on another random sidenote I realize how pathetic my life would seem if ultimately I don't get any comments at all!!!!! Please save my self-worth from deprecating to negative values....!!! You could be anybody at all, if my mother were to chance upon my blog while blog-hopping (unlikely I know) I'd still welcome comments! Or a stranger.
(------------------->) (actually it's diagonally upwards.)
So, lazy day at home. Belle and Sebastian on speakers now, soon to be followed by Imogen Heap, Frou Frou and Camera Obscura. Lovely! By the way I found out where I got the phrase "lazy days with no expectation," it's from a Camera Obscura song Come Back Margaret, and it goes "I like the free days with no expectation." I know this doesn't matter to anyone but the source of the line had been bugging me every since I typed about it in one of my posts many months ago. One more mystery of life solved yey. Self-satisfied much!
Anw on another (as usual) random note, I pretty like the usage of the word "much" like that. Idk I just find it kinda cute don't you? Also, the phrase "I know right" which even has an acronym ikr! I don't know where in the world that started from, but I remember using it in a very gay fashion to great irritation all round. So many trendy words from time to time aren't there? Clearly I recall "retarded" which is still prevalent today ofc, "lame," an antique, and my favourite, "SPASTIC!" Brings to mind a period of life what seems an eternity ago, when the most important thing in life was to be the coolest kid around (ofc that was done by rattling off the word spastic at every opportunity you had). How irritating must I have been?! Hahaha. I was a pseudo-cool kid! But such a simplistic way of life. Not a care in the world..
Heh life was good then wasn't it! Now there's money matters, a future to consider, and more. We're gonna get grinded down into mere nothing if we're not careful. Caught up in the banalities of studying and work and our worries. Sigh. Money, as is expected of our day and age and its culture, seemingly impossible to put at the back of our mind.
I have my work cut out for me. I have to save lotsa $. I'm setting aside $5,000 for my brother's overseas trip (hopefully it materializes.) I want to contribute to my sister's going to melbourne, instead of letting mom and dad scrimp and save and worry over it by themselves (for that's one of the primary reasons I signed on isn't it, to alleviate some of their burden.) I have to give my parents money for when they go overseas for holidays (I'm sure if I don't give them that extra cash they couldn't bear to spend the money to truly enjoy themselves! Now they can spend freely knowing that "Hehe it's de yan's money! Chiong ah!") I don't begrudge any of them that of course, I'm more than happy to contribute to what happiness and fulfilment that can be achieved with money. If their materialistic needs and wants can be settled, then they can focus on the other more important sort of satisfactions that I can't help them with. I can't make them happy with their lives, feel good about themselves, fall in love, that sort of thing. But I try.
If sponsoring my brother's trip allows him the luxury of going overseas, to gain valuable life experiences that travelling might (yes, only might) provide, then gladly will I do it. Same sentiments for my sister, and if I have to I will fight (nothing so violent ofcourse, more like try very hard to convince my parents) to make sure it happens. Some things in life are once in a lifetime opportunities so I can't let trivialities like money hold them back. And my parents more than deserve to enjoy their lives now, which I hope they do when they travel. A few hundred dollars here and there doesn't mean anything to me (in the bigger picture of things lah, I'm not that rich!) but if it gives my dad (read: scrimper) and mom the liberty to purchase the stuff they like then by all means.
Those last 2 paragraphs are actually very similar huh. I felt the (weird) need to explain myself further. Maybe to write down all these thoughts so that if I'm flat out broke in the future and I'm complaining and whining about all the stupid money I spent on my family and am berating myself for it, I can refer to this post and know that it was all justified, all worth it. If anything I should be upset about how I cab to camp week after week. Although I must say that extra ~40mins always feels worth it haha. Expensive, extra 40mins! :End digression.
I still have to keep a nest egg for myself (it's not really a nest egg, clearly I'm not retiring anytime soon, I just warped the meaning of the phrase cause I like it and want to employ it. So there) for when I go overseas. More of a fallback, really. A just-in-case fund, for rainy days (which incidentally we've still been having alot! Awesome much) in case I go wild spending money abroad. And for euro trips during the holidays ofc! I don't know how large this egg should be though :/ I'd rather err on the side of caution. My hope is to have my contingency cash at S$5,000 too, which unfortunately at this point in time seems to be a rather tall order :///// I have not been exactly prudent with my spending thus far!! Tsk gah. Why oh why, no money drop from sky... Wahlao, wahlao, now no money liao..
I know, I come up with the best rhymes. Shoulda been a nursery rhyme creator or sth, why did I even sign on. Haha I'm beginning to come up with rubbish to say already, almost always an accurate indicator that I should stop soon. You did know that since I'm sick and at home, this was going to turn out to be another long post didn't you? Not that when I'm not sick and not at home I don't have this much nonsense to type. (Notice triple negatives there, confused much?) Somehow once I start I can't stop, it must be a pain to read the wall of words that is my blog. I apologize, but I can't say I'm too sorry about that! That isn't a paradox, y'know. It's like I'm sorry you had to put up with all this but I'm not sorry at all for typing it out in the first place. Make what sense you can of that heh.
So in my brief glorious extended moment of civilian life I decided to watch some movies. Did I ever mention I listed out partially all the movies I want to watch and it now stands at 130 strong? And it's not complete too. Hot damn. So I decided, perhaps one or two. Or three! Hehe. Good times. The Tourist, then Salt and Red. Red is hilarious! Absolute cracker. Watch it for a silly romp. Helen Mirren totally an inspired casting decision!! Gotta love her. Also did I ever mention how hot I now think Angelina Jolie is?? I used to hate her and her ugly lips, now I think she's smokingz! (Z for added zing.) I used to think Brad Pitt was a retard for choosing her over Jennifer Anniston (whom I like quite alot too,) now I'm firmly in camp Brangelina! Life and its little jokes. I can think of no one else suitable to play the protagonists in both Salt and The Tourist, and Mr and Mr Smith too. She's perfect as the femme fatale-spy-action hero. Of course Tomb Raider too but I've never watched it cause I think it must be rubbish.
Oh and Bee Tee Dubyew you can be a femme fatale too! If you'd just read an article on How To on WikiHow.
Also, how to be a damsel in distress and how to be a love godess, and other very super helpful things! The internet is the answer to all our questions and prayers! Hallelujah! Jaja. Actually I also like jaja instead of haha. It sort of brings to mind this loopy man who speaks absolutely terrible english, and he says it with this very happy smile on his face while shaking his head russell peter-indian-man-style. I seem to be fond of many words and phrases don't I! That makes me a very interested man, not necessarily a very interesting one jaja!
Anw poixin is coming back in exactly a week I think? 25th if I'm not wrong. I can finally say "we've finally come full circle" or something like that, but I won't cause it's less intelligent and more lame than I first thought. What a smart aleck thing to say. Nobody likes a smart aleck right! But. There might be a grain of truth in that statement, let's not dwell on that.
I don't know how much free time I'd have though, I hope we manage to have at least one gathering with full attendance though! Lemme reprise my role as treasurer haha! Very important fellow I am okay. Not sure what activities we have lined up, only know about a kuishin-bo that hopefully happens (or not!) (read: bad news for my wallet!!) Okay lah I hope it does happen! The new and improved de yan is less uptight with his pursestrings now! Let's cab home after that too okay guys!!! Srsly, pampered guys yucks.
Oh and I asked poixin to be my underway date too. If she doesn't fly my kite (is there such a term?) or chinesely, let loose a pigeon, or less literally pleasant, simply stand me up (which seems actually like quite an odd form of the phrase "stood me up" doesn't it?) I sure hope she doesn't do that! Hahaha. I can sort of envision myself as an ultimate loser without a date already. Oh dear. But you don't think it'd be awkward do you? I'm afraid it might be, but who knows eh? I don't have any designs on her whatsoever, so do shut up woonshin! I can see your smirking face already. Hahaha.
And to jolyn and angela yet again...... Please be (RE)assured that there's no "that girl!!!!!" at all!!!! Don't let woonshin mess with your minds plz.. If there's some new girl in my life I'd tell you guys okay (not that there's an old girl in my life HAHA.) And clearly I'd have asked her to be my date too. Don't get so stressed out over it jolyn! Hahaha. 'Nuff said. On this topic, that is.
By the way.. Was there this advert or idk what a few years ago where the punchline was 'Nuff said?? I don't know and it's killing me softly!! Someone would say something, or there'd be this statement or sth, and this guy would simply say.. 'Nuff said. If that strikes a chord somewhere please tell me what it is! I hate being bugged by such stuff grrr.
Hahah well this has gotten to be a pretty damn long post by now! I will stop sooner or later, don't you worry. Right about now, actually.
Frou Frou's It's Good To Be In Love
I don't know where to start Say I'm tired or throw a party These cucumber eyes are lying the more that I smile about it And all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throw-aways I don't like it It's good to be in love It really does suit you Just like everything I'm happy you're in love 'Cause every color goes when you do I'm adoring you It's all good You're so beautiful I'm black and blue all over You're breaking my flow, how could you know what I'm saying about it When all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throw-aways I don't like it It's good to be in love It really does suit you Just like everything I'm happy you're in live 'Cause every color goes when you do I feel so powerless I've got to stop it somehow Oh come on, what can I do Why's it happening How's it happening (without me) Why's it happening How's it happening that he feels (without me) It's good to be in love It really does suit you Just like everything I'm happy you're in love 'Cause every color goes when you do 'Cause every color goes when you do Happy you're in love Happy you're in love Happy you're in love Happy you're in love.It really did suit you.
Edit: My brother is a genius, he just (I believe) solved a logical question that I spent hours over! I'm gonna tell you what it is so you might be plagued by the question just like I was! You have 12 balls, and one of them is either lighter of heavier (the question doesn't tell you which) than the rest. You have 3 steps and a balancing beam to find out which one of the balls is different. Just a regular balancing beam too, not some high tech gizmo which can tell you the elemental composites of each ball or sth. Please. Hahah. For the solution, look for me! Or if you know my brother personally, don't disturb me and look for him!
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