So Laugh, Love, Live Free & Sing.

Hmm I couldn't think of any nice title so I had to trawl through some of my old stuff. Sigh, I sometimes think that my mind doesn't function quite as well as it used to.

"But my heart, it don't beat,
it don't beat the way it used to
And my eyes, they don't see you no more.

And my lips, they don't kiss,
they don't kiss the way they used to.
And my eyes don't recognize you no more."

Yep. Well today started off pretty well, before taking on a slightly depressive note right near the end. Ohwell. Life.

I went swimming today and discovered a joy in it that was hitherto unbeknownst to me. Have I ever told anyone that I'm terrible in water? Hmm. Terrible maybe not the right word. Terrified, maybe. Yeah I'm secretly a little hyrdophobic..! I'm not scared of water per se, more of like being in water without any support/land close at hand? Yep.

But it was quite enjoyable nonetheless, I swam more than I ever had before (which is still not alot really.) Then I bought a shoebag and a runner's pouch thing. Serious splurging ugh. This is awful, I have to rein in my spending sometime soon.

Then I went a little out of my way to a mamashop which I frequented back in the day when I was a primary schoolkid. It was heartening to know that the icepop thingy still costs 20cents! At least there are some things in this world unaffected by the horrible winds of change and inflation and whatnot. So I promptly bought one (I only had 50cents on me) and sucked it all the way home.

I went home using a route that I took back in the days. And I was struck, as I always am, by how carefree life used to be. Reminiscing on the times back then, looking at secondary school kids just hanging around the park, a primary schoolkid walking to school. I remember back then, you didn't have to bother about anything other than yourself.

I don't mean being entirely selfish or self-centred or anything. It's how.. nothing seemed to affect you. The world of adults was extremely distant, possibly alien, to us back then. Money, work, stress, love even, never infringed upon our happy little worlds. I couldn't have given two hoots to the people I saw, JC kids, NSmen, working adults, whoever. My self-contained bubble was more than enough for me.

Those were the days you could walk home in the rain. You could jump into puddles and feel nothing but elation. You could lie down on a grass patch and even roll around. You could spend hours at a playground. You could get all grimy and slimy and seriously quite gross. You didn't have to worry.

You didn't worry about your clothes getting wet, or dirty, or wtv nonsense little kids get up to. (Which is alot of nonsense, and of course, we didn't think we were little kids back then.) You didn't think you'd get all itchy and get rashes or sth when you took a rough and tumble on the grass or mud or sth.

Which is quite amazing actually. Somehow I never got a single grass rash or sth until I was much older. I think it's cause of that belief in your own invincibility you had when you were a kid. You never believed anything bad or harmful could every happen to you. I've always believed in belief, that it creates some sort of aura around you or sth.

Those were the days when all you had to do when you liked a girl was to, naturally, annoy the hell out of her as best as you can. And I was good. I shot rubber bands, shot paper pellets using rubber bands, and was generally a world class pest. She did like me back eventually. :)

Then you got older and became more aware of how you affect the people around you, and of how you've been affected by the world. And you lose that belief in your invincibility. And everything else goes tumbling after.

Anw had a gathering (mustering!) at chuang's house today with the rest of the division. Was pretty fun, and we (re-)watched Despicable Me! I had no idea Julie Andrews was in it! Haha how awesome. Still love the part where Agnes goes "It's so fluffy!!" after getting the unicorn (instead of the oft quoted "It's so fluffy I'm gonna die"!) And love Margo too.

Other than that, was pretty fun, despite my getting lost en route. Just how many different roads have to have similar names?! Watten Drive, Watten Estate, Watten Heights etc. Extremely unsubtly ploy to get people lost, and ending up at Pepperoni Pizzeria as I did. Gah.

That was also where and when I heard about stuff I'd been hoping would never come to pass. It's a tragedy when not all of us is able to stay the course. It's a tragedy that the day we'd been aiming/striving for together will not feature all of us on that parade square. Comrade and friend, things will not be the same without you. I'm sorry you had to fall by the wayside, and that I never even tried to arrest the slide.

We'd been fighting, side by side, for the last 9 months. I can't imagine what it must be like for him now. Damn.

Ahh. I'm at a loss. Don't know what to think. Poop.

Well, these are some stuff I'd thought about a while back now.

Pitter-patter, our dreams ashatter.
Pitter-patter, our doubts ascatter.
The rainy day, oh dismay.
This rainy day, I'll give my love away.

For we know not what is love, and we know not how to love.

We may have many Likes but no Love. (In reference to facebook's Likes)

Expectation is the Enemy of Enjoyment.

Yeh, absolutely random, but oh wells. Nothing much else to add, except that I should probably go running soon in preparation for 2xu on sunday! Swimming counts as training too, I guess? Excuses!

Okay finally, I'm not sure if I've ever shared these pretty lyrics by Florence and the Machine with ya, but I can't really be bothered even if I have.

"No more dreaming like a girl,
So in love with the wrong world."

But I'm still dreaming, I am. And I intend never to stop.

"Cause you may say that I'm a dreamer,
But I'm not the only one."

Goodnight, you.