The Happiness In Misery.

I had rugby training just now and I barely made it home. It was raining. The wind was blowing. I was vibrating. If you could combine receiving a call and a text msg and a whatsapp notification and BBM and twitter + fb update and and and ALL AT THE SAME TIME. Maybe it'd be what you get if you watch a palm tree lazily swaying in the strong tropical wind at 5000x acceleration. Brr brr teeth chatter brr brr legs shake brr brr.

At least when I was still in training I had something else to focus on, like unclenching my fists to catch the ball. It was on the way home that I started thinking: Oh my head I am absolutely miserable. I can barely feel my toes, my fingers are warped and stuck in the same positions, I have mud all over my body (and I realized later, on my face as well), I look like a hobo, and my hair looks like pangsai. That was the clincher man.

And I realized I was feeling very cheery about all that misery. What a paradox eh, I am such an exponent of puzzles and enigmas (maybe enigmae a la amoeba/e, think about it: Have you ever seen enigma's plural form??? A new mystery, that.) So I was thinking about it, by all accounts I should be feeling ratty and miserable, perhaps even on the verge of tears (I'm sure someone of a fainter heart/weaker constitution would have wept, it was that bad.) but there I was feeling all happy and cheerful and laughing to myself. I reckon misery is brilliant if you know it can't last.

Probably at the back of my head (cause the front was filled with dire thoughts i.e. how not to die) I knew I was going home to a bloody hot bath, and I could whip up a hot meal and luxuriate in the comfort of my heated room. So my misery only served to amuse me. But this theory doesn't hold water when I apply it to stuff like MIDS and MSTD and I kept trying to reassure myself that, it's only 6 weeks, we'll be back in Singapore soon! but somehow I still felt proper miserable haha. Perhaps by then I was already deadened and pissed off with the world at large. What memories eh?

But it's probably a useful skill to be able to be jovial and laugh at your own misery yeah? Then at least there's happy misery in addition to proper miserable misery, so the actual suffering involved is halved (assuming ofc that misery is split between the two equally, which is quite unfounded really.) Pretty good hey.

Anyhow I think all those old finger injuries are rearing their injured heads at me now. While I was freezing my posterior out on the pitch my fingers just seemed to be cramped or sth, and it was quite painful to move them about. Even now I can feel the discomfort when I wiggle my fingers. But spending >30mins in the shower is such bliss srsly, everyone should have a jaunt in the cold November rain just to experience such pure unadulterated bliss. Just Like Heaven. Feels like Para-para-paradise. Woooooaaaah ohhhhhhh.

I am a Rhymocerous
English is my thing
I can't use the abacus
But give me words and I am king!

Okay I actually want to continue but I ran out of ideas hehe. I saw this 'rhymocerous' or sth in my old BMT sergeant's fb status and I had a little laugh so I thought I'd try to construct a rhyme. None too successful though. In my defence, I did have a massive dinner cause shivering consumes a surprising amount of energy and I am definitely feeling the effects :( Brainpower approximately that of a horseshoe now.

I unfortunately have some work to do but my inner lazy self (so big it barely fits the term inner-self) is coaxing me to leave it for tmr. I am slightly afraid I'll fall sick after the tribulations of today, so maybe I should hit the sack early eh? Hehe lazychuan claims yet another glorious lazy victory. Although I do sort of feel like I have to puke, while not actually nauseous. Does that even make sense in any way? I just think I'd feel better if I had a little puke, which sounds, creepily enough, like the onset of bulimia instead of flu hahaha. Pretty nasty sensations in my stomach now though. I knew my cooking was going to cause me no small amount suffering sigh.

Okay time2lick my wounds and sulk a little bit. Laters.