What Would We Be Without Wishful Thinking?

An update, at last. It's been, unbelievably, 3 months since my last post -.- I have somehow been occupying alot of my time, and I haven't even dota-ed for like 3 weeks which is probably a record. Not to mention being an LB. The lack of free time I have is quite unholy. And soon it's gonna be training training and more training. I think imma start doing more extra training, especially since I seem to have discovered an innate ability for sprinting recently =D

More 20km runs, more speedwork, more gymwork. Oh and more teamwork too. Balonglong says to call him to go running next time, I think I should. Running alone is energy sapping man, and the only motivation comes from myself. And it's scary too. That morning I ran at 3.30am and it was some freaking scary experience. First of all my imagination told me that I could at any time be snatched off the road by some crazy mafia gang or some paedophilic mofo irresistibly attracted to me -.- Then as I ran past the heavy vehicle park I seemed to hear a child shouting "help me" quite a few times. I kia tio sia, and ran away ASAP. Then I run run run, until it started drizzling when I was at zhenghua park. I sian 1/2 cause I was like at least 5km away from home with no ez-link or money. Heng it didn't rain or I'd probably have died and missed the physics promo. Then ran back to teck whye then to gombak and back home through the long bloody new road which I almost got lost on.

Moral of the story is that I'm not half the brave strong man I thought I was -.- Oh and my shoes suck. If I weren't so deep in debt I would be saving for a pair of running shoes, maybe adizero which is cool shite. But I owe a myriad of people money and I need to buy other stuff too. Super loser man, I'm losing things at a crazy rate. First my shoebag with my spanking new boots and spanking owning new havaianas slippers which I didn't get to wear. And the shoebag is chock-full of sentimental value to me. Then I lost, amazingly, a plastic bag containing my dirty clothes so I had to buy new ones. Next, my rugby pants. And most recently my school pants. Holy moley. That's 200 dollars worth of stuff right there. I am a loser indeed.

Anw today was sports carnival which my class didn't participate in cause our form didn't get handed up. I thought I could dazzle everyone with my soccer skills. Oh wells. Wanna kick street soccer soon, it's been a helluva long time since the last time. So I played badminton almost the whole morning, where I dazzled everyone with my badminton skills. I played with chengyong and lost 21-15 or somewhere there. Probably better than balonglong could have, LOL =D I was feeling so extraordinarily talented even thought I lost. But chengyong represents singapore after all. At least in JJ against those foreigners -.- so I lost quite happily =D

Then class outing at east coast park, where we cycled till our butts lost all feeling. And my leg is cramping. The highlight of the day being that I crashed into kelly which left me feeling traumatised all day. I have since decided that I'm a retard and will strive as best I can not to crash into anyone again. Then we went to eat at Han's and the spaghetti I had seemed quite pathetic next to their fishes (grilled, dory) and the chicken chop. And mine is 3 dollars more expensive. What the fish? I bade farewell to the last of my money. And I bought doughnut factory doughnuts (what else) 6 of them for the enjoyment of my brother who has probably never eaten nice doughnuts before. 7 dollars leh. I am pure awesomeness as a brother, except that the money I used I borrowed from my sister. Anyway plain glazed doughnut is holy good, methinks.

It's 12:51am now, which is the name of that awesome strokes song which I prolly mentioned previously. I'm not going to school tmr since imma pon all the lessons even if I did go. Rest more and train harder tmr. I'm going to watch my Criminal Minds soon, that excellent show which is eating up all my free time which I do not spend reading or going out. Stuck at season 2, almost reaching season 3. And the cool title of this post comes from one of the songs I heard on the show, and I like it. Indeed, we would be nothing.

Life as a member of the LB club is really depressing -.- a few months back I wasn't, and I wish it were a few months back, where maybe some things could have remained. Oh welluh, too bad so sad neh neh ni poo poo. I have chosen to be a monk/golem and I shall persevere~ It is so very tempting however, the prospect of not watching movies alone. I was sorting through my stuff and I re-read one of the postcards I received. And I realized how much I missed the companionship which unfortunately is all but gone now. I am an idiot. At least the matchsticks are useful, seriously. Everytime I emo or start reminiscing about the past and realize how much I miss it, I light a matchstick. And for a few good seconds, I focus solely on that flame and I think not of anything else. And feed all emotion to the flame. So I guess what I'm trying to say, actually, is thanks, for everything. Oh and that I am an idiot.

I shall ruminate no longer on my regrets. I think if anyone were to list down his/her regrets they'd never get halfway through. It really is an exercise in futility. Anything I care to blog about I'll update again. The end.

"The flame and the void. Feed all emotion and all pain and all thoughts." Robert Jordan, Wheel of Time.