and to you:

i'm sorry. thank you. i was an idiot. i was afraid and i was an idiot. i'm still an idiot but at least you're still happy. you too, dear friend, are not easily replaced, no matter my sharp wit or handsome smile. i wonder if it'll ever be the same again. i dearly hope so. i'm unspeakably honoured, and i miss you too. have a nice forever, too (: