I'm doing my essay and I'm dying I've not been so frustrated in a long time and I think I crave someone to talk to I wish I had someone to share my misery with but the awful fact is that no, I don't have anyone. I'd like to laugh at someone else's jokes or for them to laugh at my silliness and just shoot shit off and exchange nonsense and witticisms so that I can relieve some of my boredom and stress. I can't remember when I've last felt so futilely pathetic haha.
I heard a song called Midnight Cowards so I started wondering whether people get more or less courageous as it approaches midnight. I mean if you're afraid of ghosts or something then clearly you'd get more scared. But it seems to me that some other things get easier to do the darker it gets. Maybe some things you wouldn't want the daylight to be witness to. Or things you want to have the excuse of night madness to fall back on, and say, "that wasn't really me."
It just seems to me like the things that require some form of actual courage I'd rather perform in the dead of night. The day is for the routine, the humdrum execution of our daily chores. The night is the realm of dreams and of leaps of imaginations and maybe even courage. The night is for excitement and being whisked off your feet and onto carpets which fly. The blackness of the sky is the backdrop for fantasies to come to life and for visions of unreal beauty.
It is only at midnight that the coward can delude himself sufficiently to do something he has not the courage to do.
I know, poor sunlight and daytime getting such short shrift haha, but of course they are good in their own right. I'm just not in the mood to try and write nice things about it cause I'm in a dark mood haha. Maybe I need an infusion of midnight courage myself.
Tally-ho! Onwards! (to the essay I ride, all valiant and gallant.)
P.S. Here I am awake at 3.37am probably cause I'm so scared about my impending Essay of Doom that I have no peaz of mindz. HEALP?!
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