Especially Ordinary.

I am awake at 8:33am. Unfortunately this is not a result of my waking up this early on this brilliantly sunny day. It's me still awake despite starting to doze off at 3am. How this this happen, one asks. The fault is not in me/but in our stars. Yeah. I decided to read myself to sleep, and we all know how that works out. 5 hours later and I have finished the book. Eminently readable and relatable.

Except that they're teenagers in the book. Which is mildly disturbing to contemplate, the fact that we're no longer teenagers now, are we? Sheesh. We no longer retain any excuse to act stupidly, apart, of course, from sheer stupidity. Verily, youth is wasted on the young. It seems like I have made a hash of my teenage years... It's all dota's fault really. By my conservative estimate, I have spent about maybe 15% of my life (in actual hours, no kidding) on games. From 2002 onwards.. Roughly 5 hours a day.. It is an obscene amount. YUCKS.

I somehow haven't mustered the energy to do much these days. I downloaded FFVII so that's what I'm rocking atm, as well as season upon season of Bones. I watched The Inbetweeners movie, and that was pretty good actually. After overcoming the rough initial bits. Read Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Mystic River, finished Angel Esmeralda and now The Fault In Our Stars. I've got The Faster I Walk, The Smaller I Am and The Perks of Being a Wallflower left. Can't decide which is next.

Oh I also re-watched Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels + Snatch exactly two days before the due date of my final essay this year. Whilst with zero word count. I ultimately embarked upon my essay at 4am the day of submission. I had 12 hours to do it, so thankfully, I did it. In about 9 hours or so. 2000 words. I have no idea what I was thinking. That is an incredibly retarded thing to do. I would kick myself silly if I weren't so pleased about my previous essay result. Hoo boy!

Now I'm thinking of my pre-easter trip, easter trip, and post exam trip. I know, money matters, but surely not as much as the youth-slipping-away-matter. Too much of europe left unexplored! Not helped by me going ga-ga over every half-priced commodity in the supermarket, however. Splurging insanely on grocery shopping, I can't believe myself srsly. My eyes glaze over at the sight of yoghurts on offer. Or spinach (trying my bestest to be a buff sailor a la Popeye.)

I had these poetic stirrings just now while reading the book. Okay that just sounds incredibly wrong. Hmm. Stirrings of poetry i.e. bits of poetry beginning to stir around in my mind. That's what happens when you read a book whose title is Shakespearean in origin. But I clean forgot it now. It's just that I've been thinking, I haven't actually thought much at all these few days.

I mean, yeah, I did an essay and all, but that was just research and readings and hammering it out on Microsoft Word. I didn't have to muse or mull, I've not pondered or wondered, not for a while now. It's kind of sad. My brain is probably partially atrophied right now. I'm just clicking for the next episode of Bones, considering what movie/book to watch/read next, small-scale stuff. Choosing between Attack Magic Item GF etc. Now if only that GF stood for girlfriend, at least I'd know I have a life. Unfortunately it means Guardian Force, although as substitutes go I couldn't ask for more hehe. I've never quite gotten over Shiva and Quazecotl.

Well yeah. I just have the feeling like I've not been using my brain much for a while now. I am consuming (reading, watching, observing) but I've not been actively creating. I'm not thinking, coming up with original (okay not perhaps the right word, cause who can say they've got original thoughts?) or at least my own thoughts, instead I'm just processing the thoughts (in whatever form) of others.

Always makes me wonder whether I could have somehow just become stupider. I thought I was a pretty smart kid, although it's possible I just thought I was and acted like I was. Probably coming across as a pretentious little tit. That's definitely a possibility aha. But I have this nagging sense always that I'm not as smart as I was. It's pretty deflating to think my 15 year old self had more intellectual chops than my 20 year old self. It means I can never mock anyone who has as his nick xxxx97 again. I'm sorry, sibehpro1997 and contemporaries like pwn.yo.ass97.

Now I don't know whether I should sleep or not. It is super counter-productive to sleep at 9am. It is terribad. My system never knows quite how to react when it wakes up at 5pm. Breakfast? Linner? Hmm. Finally get to wrack my brain, albeit in the worst conceivable way possible. Lifesux.

And my brother got his results back. Unfortunately he didn't do as well as me. That sucks. I just hope he doesn't get ragged on by our parents too much. And what a colossal idiot. I am pretty sure he could have scored a hell lot better than that. And a B for math?! What a megaturd. If he'd only listened to my sagely brotherly advice and taken H2 physics... Everyone knows you must follow what da ge says. Now he pays the price. Tsk! I was looking forward to straight As leh srsly.

And my sister is going for DCFC later. What the pongggggggggggg. I always rmb A Movie Script Ending, Photobooth, Soul Meets Body, Crooked Teeth, A Lack of Colour, I think those were my first few death cab songs. Then came Transatlanticism. Still in love with that song. 405. We Looked Like Giants. Information Travels Faster. Cath.. AND MORE. AND I'M NOT IN SINGAPORE. NUUUUUUUUU.

Anw doubt I'll be sleeping now. Just had an awesome (even if I do say so myself!) breakfast of sausages, cumberland sausages to be precise, bacon, unfortunately unsmoked, and egg, just a smite chao-ta. It would be downright destructive for my body were I to sleep right now, so I shalt struggle on. Maybe.. I shall.. DotA.