Wait. They Don't Love You Like I Love You.

To borrow a line from Donnie Darko's 'Mad World', I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. That I have to skip school to study. That's rich. It's not that I sleep extra or anything by not going to school, I actually leave home at around the same time. And I'm doing it again in a few hours. School is just so drab, I spend my time in class wishing for breaks and my breaks doing nothing. It ends in my time in school being absolutely futile. Oh and I heard Mad World on the radio but not the Gary Jules' version, unfortunately.

Anyway there I went again, being rude to my dad. It irks me that I know about it yet cannot (or refuse to) change my behavior. I know when I'm being unnecessarily irritated, I just can't seem to stop myself. I don't want to have a fraught relationship with my dad, like some angsty teenager would.

On the subject of family, I realize that I really would not want any of them to read my blog. No matter that I might be pretty close to both my brother and sister, I wouldn't want them reading this. I dunno why but I think it'd be quite weird. It's probably the same rationale my brother uses for not adding either me or my sister on facebook. A modicum of privacy from people you've spent all your life with or something, I dunno. But no matter how my sister pesters me, I'm not telling her.

My mom returned from malacca and I'm delighted for her that she managed to spend time away from work and enjoy herself with her colleagues. It's been a while since the days of my rebellious youth where everyday was spent battling against the parental forces I felt were trying to rein me in. I'd like to think I'm beginning to appreciate my parents a little bit more.

Oh yeah I'm not reading any more books till the end of A's. It's a (joking) promise I made to my CT but I decided I'm gonna honor it since it's gonna work out for my own good. Unfortunately this means no more Neil Gaiman, given that I've rediscovered an appetite for his particular brand of fiction. Ah, woe is me.

And it seems alot of people are falling ill. An epidemic of stress-related sicknesses seem to have hit our shores. Despite my unwillingness to conform to the standard all-work-no-play model student that seems to be such a hit these days, I do feel sick myself. Actually I just wanna fabricate my story in advance, for when I wake up late tomorrow morning and get owned by my dad.

Somehow it has been so deeply ingrained, the notion that we need to obtain this piece of paper for us to be a success. Our education system works us like slaves and we willingly go through such hellish treatment in the pursuit of a Degree. It's like the magik word, you need it to succeed in life, to get a job, to live happily ever after. And failing to achieve it we are branded losers. It's been branded onto our minds, that we have to pass every test, or we are inferior beings. I just think it's idiotic how we are made to strive so hard to study things so irrelevant to our lives. I am increasingly finding it pointless, even as I make further effort to actually study.

I tried to dota just now. But the host kept kicking me cause I denied him like mad in the previous game. Freak la. I can't even enjoy life when I want to. And I'm starving like one dog. It's 2.35 am and I have no intention of making myself something to eat. I'll pilfer something from somewhere. Well don't have much else to say. Dota time.