I can't sleep still. And while I was taking a dump just now I was thinking about movies. There's this line in some book I can't remember about that acute sense of awkwardness in the movies. The one that the narrator felt when he watched a kissing scene in a movie with a good (girl) friend of his.
I don't know why but I thought it was from the Kite Runner, which doesn't make sense cause of the nature of the central relationship the book is built on. Probably the image of watching movies in books made me think of the boys watching the westerns in the book. And now I can't figure out what book it was from. It probably followed some cliche about how after the movie the guy or the girl then takes the hand of the other person so naturally and how they live happily ever after. Together.
Stupid cliche, really. That does not happen, not for me. The awkwardness, very much true. Trying to look like you're totally engrossed in the movie. Trying not to sneak glances at her. Trying not to be noticed then you do. And the worst part is, it drags on forever. Seriously. Mouth increasingly dry. Hard swallows. No movement. For the duration of the kiss. No popcorn, no drinks. Or of course, feigned nonchalance. Lounging deeper into the chair. Languid sips of the drink. An attempt to ignore the palpable tension in the air. Weak attempt at humour during or after the kiss (at the next even slightly humorous scene). Accelerated heart rate.
Okay I was wrong, seriously the worst part was not knowing if she went through the same torture. Who knows? Maybe it's just another scene to her. You think it's both of you suffering, but maybe she didn't. That not knowing sucks. Back on track, the awkwardness I agree with. It's the aftermath that's stupid. It doesn't work that way. Real life isn't a story.
Or is it?
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