Here we go. Thus, I guess, does a new year begin, again. Year on year it just seems harder and harder to drum up any sort of excitement for new beginnings, huh?
Some days it seems as if we're sliding two steps back for every step we try to take forward - these are the lost days. Some days we try and we work hard enough that we convince ourselves this isn't happening, until we stop for just a second and notice the nothingness.
What a difference a week makes. What a difference a year makes. All this time, day by day, second by second, we're accumulating - but what difference does it make? We get older and colder with each passing day.
The kind of deep, unspeakable disappointment you only ever feel about one's own. Family, they say. And when will we ever be able to forgive each other for all these things we've done? Scar tissue fades; it never goes away. All these things we've been building so precariously all these years - how easy it is to bring it all down with just one sweep of the hand.
Do I have the energy to rebuild all this? Can I afford not to? I don't know anymore. But I think I have to. Is it worth it anymore? I have to believe so, right? Right. So here we go.
And since we're at it, here's to giving up on all these things I've held on for too long, too. Hope, even. Hold on to something too long, too tightly, and it leaves its imprint on you - grooves in your hands, holds in your heart. Sad as it may be, you let go.
Goodbye.
No comments:
Post a Comment